Chapter 5
George Washington
“The Aggregate happiness of society, which is best promoted by the practice of a virtuous policy, is, or ought to be, the end of all government.”
—George Washington
First in War
The first and only president to muster an army himself and lead it personally was George Washington. This army was not mustered against the British, pirates, Indians, or any other external threat. The purpose of the army was to put down what has since been called the “Whiskey Rebellion.” The year was 1791, and the nation had just gotten started. One of the genuine problems Washington faced was to make the United States into a real nation and his administration into a real government. One of the unfortunate side effects of being a government was the need for money. Under Washington Congress enacted a number of taxes. The trouble was that this close to the American Revolution there was still a lot of bad feeling toward any central government and especially toward new taxes.
The tax that brought this to a head was a seven-cents-per-gallon tax on each gallon of whiskey sold anywhere in the nation. This was wildly unpopular in the counties of western Pennsylvania. The four counties south of Pittsburgh erupted into violence and outright revolt. The homes and offices of the federal tax collectors were attacked and even burned. Hundreds of local whiskey makers simply refused to pay the tax and defied Washington to do anything about it.
In response, the first president sent out a call for volunteers in Virginia, Maryland, and nearby eastern Pennsylvania. The lure of this was great for both those who had served with Washington in the Revolution and those who had been too young and could now join up. Over twelve thousand men joined the ranks and were formed into companies. This massive army, Washington at its head for the first six days, then marched toward Pittsburgh. As the president likely expected, the show of force was enough. Those with land or assets realized that this was serious and quickly changed their attitudes. Those who still could not stomach the tax picked up and moved beyond the frontier into Tennessee and Kentucky. Many of their descendants today likely are among those who still refuse to pay whiskey taxes and run moonshine in a family tradition started by Washington’s army over two centuries ago.
Toothy Tale
George Washington lost his teeth fairly early in life. This was common in the eighteenth century. He wore numerous replacements, none of them wood. No one really used wooden teeth. It just wasn’t practical. Wood decays quickly when exposed to the acid of saliva, it has splinters, and it is relatively soft even before rotting in your mouth. Washington’s teeth were mostly carved from bone. He may also have worn bone teeth taken from cadavers; ghoulish as this may sound today, it was common practice three hundred years ago. Exotic materials were tried. In those days, teeth were made from any animal bone or horn that was large enough to carve, including porcelain. There is a record that Washington used a set of teeth carved from a hippopotamus bone. But hippo bone proved very porous, and when the first president imbibed his favorite port wine they were quickly stained black and discarded.
Father Only of the Country
At the age of seventeen, George Washington was sick simultaneously with both malaria and smallpox. There was no way to cure either in the eighteenth century, but there is a good chance that the effect of the combined illnesses was to render the future president sterile. While he doted on Martha’s children from an earlier marriage, Washington never had any of his own. This, strangely, was one of the reasons everyone considered him the perfect candidate to become the first president. To understand this you have to realize two things. One is that the colonies had just finished a revolution, and it was an era when the rule of kings had a negative reputation. The year Washington was elected saw the beginning of the French Revolution. The second consideration was that there was no real precedent for how the president would act or what the office would be like. When you combine this with the overwhelming popularity Washington enjoyed, there could and would be a concern that the presidency might become a “royal” office held by Washington and passed through his family in the same way the Caesars ruled. “Divine right” was a lot more familiar to most people than “will of the masses.” Because George Washington had no blood descendants, there was no risk of this happening. So his lack of a true heir actually was considered a major plus in the minds of the revolutionaries who were now forming the new government.
The Great Progress
Everyone who has visited the original thirteen colonies has seen more than one “Washington Slept Here” sign. Most of us tend to discount the veracity of these signs due to their sheer number. Actually, it is likely that most of them are accurate, for at least one night’s stay. As the first president, Washington insightfully believed that a big part of his job was to help solidify into a nation thirteen rival colonies that each had their own government already in place. To do this the people had to think of themselves as citizens of the United States first and of their state second. He did this in a number of ways.
One way was to have a presence in each state. That meant to go to that state and be seen there, meet with the people, the local leaders, the merchants, and let everyone know he was their leader. To do this Washington traveled extensively during his eight years as president. The tradition of a ruler moving around the country was an old one. For hundreds of years kings and queens had made a circuit of their countries, staying with and being hosted by their kingdom’s nobles along the way. This could be a very expensive proposition for their host as the royal Progress often included a few hundred nobles, guards, and support personnel who also had to be housed and fed. In fact, there are records of where a king or queen was unhappy with a noble and so would show up and cost their temporary host a fortune by simply sticking around for days or even weeks. What the Progress did accomplish was to let people all over the kingdom see that their sovereign was not only aware of them but had been in their area. Washington used his travels as president for the same purpose, but in a much more friendly way. He traveled with a relatively small retinue and, especially in the smaller towns, often stayed in rooming houses or private homes each night. This meant that over the months he would have gone to a town, met with the people there, and then spent the night in hundreds of locations all over the original states. So, when you see those “Slept Here” plaques and wall signs, there is a good chance he did, at least for one night.
He Did Not Have Sex with That Woman
One of the most intriguing aspects of Washington the man is his relationship with Sally Fairfax. The beautiful Sally Fairfax was the sister-in-law of his half-brother Lawrence Washington. In the interest of promoting Lawrence’s interests with the much richer and more prestigious Fairfax family, young George would often visit the Fairfax estate. There he met and befriended an older man named George William. He also became completely enamored with the woman that George William soon married, Sally Fairfax. Eventually George Washington was also married—to Sally’s best friend Martha Custis. Martha was a rich and socially important widow, which gave Washington the status and wealth he desired. The two couples often met socially and traveled in the same social circles until about 1773. Although over the years Sally and Washington exchanged many letters, it shows something about his personal sense of honor and high standards that the relationship went no farther. This is not to say that there was no passion, but more that nothing came of it. You get a sense of both the restraint and the depth of feeling from this excerpt from a letter from Washington to Sally:
’Tis true I profess myself a votary to Love. I acknowledge that a Lady is in the case; and, further, I confess that this lady is known to you. Yes, Madam, as well as she is to one who is too sensible of her Charms to deny the Power whose influence he feels and must ever submit to….You have drawn me, my dear Madam, or rather I have drawn myself, into an honest confession of a Simple Fact. Misconstrue not my meaning, ’tis obvious; doubt it not or expose it. The world has no business to know the object of my love, declared in this manner to—you, when I want to conceal it. One thing above all things, in this World I wish to know, and only one person of your acquaintance can solve me that or guess my meaning—but adieu to this till happier times, if ever I shall see them.
Even many years later his feelings remained, though all through his life Washington remained the faithful and devoted husband of Martha:
…never been able to eradicate from my mind those happy moments, the happiest in my life, which I have enjoyed in your company.
There is a final irony to the story. George William was a Tory and was forced to flee after losing most of his wealth. He planned to return to Virginia after the insurrection was put down, but when Independence occurred instead, like many who had supported the king, he could not and never did return. He died in 1787 and Sally remained alone in England for another twenty-four years.
He Didn’t Do It
Never in his life did George Washington throw a dollar across the Rappahannock River, which runs through Virginia. Nor did he ever cut down a cherry tree and then tell his father he had done it. In the early years, the United States was still finding itself. There was a need for bigger-than-life heroes and the first president was one of these already. Both of these stories appeared in a book, purported to be a biography of George Washington, by Mason Locke Weems. This book, A History of the Life and Death, Virtues and Exploits, of General George Washington (yep, the title was that long), included not only actual stories of Washington’s leadership, but also made-up stories used to make him a near mythic figure and role model. The book was a success and since then, when someone thinks of a young Washington, they remember Weems’s two stories. That’s a pity since he was an ambitious young man who started in the middle class and rose through his own efforts to become the “Father of His Country” after fighting in two wars and leading a revolt against the most powerful empire in the world.
With a Whimper
After surviving being a surveyor in the wilderness, two wars, Valley Forge, and years of politics, the first president succumbed to a “sore throat” that was more likely an edematous infection of the windpipe on December 14, 1799, only three years after leaving office. He might well have survived except for what was done and not done to treat him. At first, he did nothing after contracting the illness from being chilled while riding in a snowstorm. When the illness got worse the doctors were called in. Because he was important and a public figure, his doctors were particularly aggressive in their efforts. The problem was that, at that point in time, medicine had taken a few wrong turns. First, the doctors bled the ill president four times. Then, the weakened leader was given a concoction of molasses, butter, and vinegar. When he did not improve dramatically, they took the next step and fed him a strong laxative. Washington spent his last hours of life dealing with the effects of that ill-conceived medication. He likely spent most of his last day on earth squatting over the chamber pot, or worse, until his weakened system succumbed not only to the illness, but to the cure.