1 - Alive
She was alive and all she felt was the cold. Stinging armor rested against her cheek, clammy hands on her back, sopping dress against her arms. All of it made her shiver on the inside. She didn’t have words to explain how she felt. A heartbeat rang in her ears, breath flushed in and out of her lungs, fingers curled around a boy’s shoulder and pressed into the skin at the nape of his neck. The last thing she remembered was the murderous look in Crestaos’s eyes before she thrust herself into the mouth of a volcano.
And she remembered exploding.
It was raining.
Everything felt so different.
Knots twisted her stomach, limbs heavy, head swimming with thoughts, with questions, with shock. Krishani released her briefly and looked into her eyes. He looked different, felt different. His black hair was longer, reaching his neck, his face pallid, eyes sunken into thin malnourished cheeks, deep bruises underneath them. A curl of black dirt crept across his neck. She barely caught it in the eerie darkness, nothing but torchlight illuminating the night.
Crowds of people milled around them, stumbling or dragging themselves towards the lights. Hooves pounded back and forth, stopping and starting again, weaving through the wounded and dead. A high pitched lull dulled Kaliel’s sense of hearing. It cast a net over sound, muffling the noise. Krishani tucked his fingers under her chin and pulled her face up to his. She realized he was speaking. Hearing his voice nearly undid her.
“I need you to go inside.” His tone was gentle, less ragged compared to the first time he said her name. At the time his voice had been raspy, hollow, lethal. She didn’t want to know what he meant when he told her not to touch him. She went to pull away but he kept her attached, turning. Behind him were large gates and stone walls stretching into darkness. A dirt road marked at intervals by torches spread into a village. It was crowded by people in golden armor or shredded clothing. She didn’t recognize anything and immediately tensed. She glanced at Krishani, gulping. Her throat was scratchy, burning as saliva trickled past her tongue.
“Where are we?” she asked, alarmed. She didn’t know if her eyes had turned their usual green, she wasn’t even sure what color her eyes were anymore. This wasn’t her body.
“Terra,” Krishani whispered as he pulled her taut against him and covered her left arm with his, twisting his fingers through hers. She glanced at him, fear snaking into her, a million questions pounding at the fore front of her mind. “Go with Elwen, I won’t be long,” he said, still talking into her ear.
She didn’t know who Elwen was and it only made her muscles coil tighter. None of this was right. One minute an explosion, the next staring into the eyes of the only boy she ever loved. She shook her head to rid the high pitched squeal and fog encircling her mind. A man in brown robes and long brown hair perched by the gates watched them. He called orders at different factions of people, pointed them in different directions. His eyes fell on them and widened. He smoothed out the front of his robes as Krishani strode toward him, forcing Kaliel to move alongside. She had to run a little to keep up, but as soon as they were closer she instinctively dropped her arm, comfortable on her own two feet for the first time since waking up.
A feorn rounded the gates carrying a sword in his right hand, flexing his bicep back and forth like he was testing an injury. She smiled and ran to him. She wasn’t sure what Krishani had to do. The battlefield pulsed around them, but she couldn’t concentrate. She almost tripped on the hem of her skirt and smiled widely. Her lungs burst with pain the moment her feet hit the dirt road. She fell on her knees, her hands sliding into the mud. His wolf-like feet appeared as he put a hand out to pull her up.
“Pux!” She gasped, brushing her hands on her dress and throwing her arms around his neck. The force was so strong he swayed a little on his feet. He pushed back, setting her in the mud. He laughed. “Aulises, what are you so happy about?”
Kaliel stopped. She disentangled her hands from around his neck and really looked at him. He was thinner, his round hairy face sickly, his arms snaky things, his mid section almost non-existent. He wore chainmail, armor and breeches.
He looked sad.
She grabbed him by the forearm and the sword fell into the mud. She let her eyes bore into his brown ones with intensity as she tried to explain without speaking. When he looked even more confused she dropped her hand. “I’m not Aulises.”
Pux squinted in the bad lighting. “Aren’t you the thief girl The Obsidian Flame brought from Amaltheia?” His eyes didn’t register with recognition.
Kaliel’s eyes widened. “The Flames are here?” Her head whipped back and forth looking for the girls she had seen in dreams. She stopped, her shoulders sagging. If they were here, they wouldn’t be in the bodies of girls.
Pux idly tapped his fingers on his breast plate, the sound tinking like raindrops on a roof. She grasped his arm and tried to pull him out of his reverie. She felt weak from the battle her body had obviously fought, and the queasy feeling in her stomach reminded her that her best friend didn’t recognize her.
“It’s me Pux,” she said quietly, pressing a hand to his cheek. He looked into her eyes again and she hoped he would understand. He frowned at first, then sputtered, trying to say something. He covered her hand with his and pulled it away, crushing her to him in a bear hug. It was so tight she could barely breathe. She gasped and fought for air and scrambled to push him away but he wouldn’t let go.
“Kaliel!” It was weird to feel the pump of his heart beat through the armor. She rolled her eyes and he kept her trapped in a hug for a long time before letting go. She glanced at the battlefield but it was covered in darkness and Krishani was nowhere to be seen.
A wan smile crossed her mouth. “What happened?” He slung his arm around her shoulders and pulled away from the road, which she realized, they were blocking. People stumbled to avoid them. He pulled her towards a small castle rising out of the darkness. It looked warm inside.
“I never thought I’d see you again,” Pux said. He seemed stunned. Kaliel hung her head as they shuffled across the ground, a deep churning in her heart. Her throat burned, an acrid taste on her tongue. The Village of the Shee drilled against her temple, crickets and terrifying quiet. She paused, frowned, pressing her hand against his side. It was only a scar.
“You didn’t get hurt again did you?”
“No.” His shoulders contracted as he pulled her up the stairs into the hall. It was warm, and dry. Platters of food sat on a drab wooden table to the left. Hoards of people, guards, warriors, and peasants, puttered about. Armor cast off, food thrust into mouths, congratulations hitting the air. Pux steered her away from the commotion and found a small corner at the table, forcing her to sit. He stared at her for awhile, and she felt self-conscious. He never looked at her like he couldn’t believe she was there.
“What happened?” she asked again, more desperation in her voice. She wasn’t used to how she sounded. Words tumbled out of her mouth like swamp water.
Pux looked at his hands and covered a small cut on his right hand with his thumb. He picked up a piece of bread and pressed it into her hands. “You should eat something.” She took it, dark brown and rough. It tasted heavy and bitter. She almost spit it out but her stomach growled and her taste buds savored it. She chewed for a long time before swallowing. Pux glanced at the people in the hall, wiped his hands on his thighs and drummed his fingers on the table.
“Who are you looking for?” Kaliel asked.
“Has Krishani seen you yet?”
Her mind went blank for a second. Pux hadn’t seen Krishani when she went rushing towards him. She nodded. “He told me to come inside.”
Pux let out a breath of relief and Kaliel raised an eyebrow. Agitation festered in her bones, threatening to overwhelm her. She loathed not knowing what was going on. Why were they on Terra? Why did Pux look like he hadn’t eaten in weeks? Why were they fighting? Why did Krishani feel so cold and harsh? All of a sudden Pux’s eyes lit up like they did when they were kids in the forest of Evennses. “I can’t believe you’re really here.”
She let out a shaky laugh. “I can’t believe you haven’t turned the bread green or something.” Maybe being normal with him would take away all the awkwardness.
It didn’t work. Pux looked away. “I can’t do that stuff here.”
“Why are you here?”
He slid a hand down his thigh. “I um … I didn’t mean to come. It was an accident.”
“We’re in the Lands of Men aren’t we?” Her tone was lower, grave. She remembered the days she raced to the lake and looked at the colorful night sky and swam with merfolk. She never intended to leave Avristar. The Lands of Men were scary places reminding her of nightmares and foes she wasn’t strong enough to face. The weight against her chest squeezed as she thought about the battlefield. The Valtanyana were hunting her weren’t they? Crestaos was out there somewhere, she wasn’t safe.
Pux nodded. He didn’t say anything but his eyes brimmed with tears. She pushed up from the table and sat on the floor. Pux followed, his head falling on her lap. She stroked his hair the way she would if they were home, sitting in the forest, looking for herbs.
“Why is everyone fighting again?” She studied the people in the hall. Some of them were familiar, tall elvens in gold armor, burgundy breeches and beige tunics. Muscular feorns, in vests, arm plates and knee length breeches. Humans with stodgy builds, long grainy hair, full beards, and beady eyes slipped between the warriors. They looked panicked, their thick garments making them move slower. None of them matched, other than the gray wool tunics and colorless breeches they were individuals. They moved out of view and she looked at Pux who was breathing in shallow intervals, like he was reliving the violence.
“Crestaos came again. Krishani challenged him.”
Kaliel gasped and brought a hand to her mouth. Her heart thumped feverishly, pain lancing through it. Pux sat and swiveled so he was facing her. “Don’t—Crestaos is dead. Krishani killed him. And I don’t know for sure, but some of the others were shouting, saying they killed the Daed, too. I don’t know exactly.” Pux pulled her hand away from her lips and brushed the tears off her cheek.
She hadn’t even realized she was crying. “Krishani killed him?” It felt heavy like there was a rock in her chest instead of a heart. It throbbed, the sound reverberating in her ears, her entire body trembling. Dumbfounded she thought of the boy she had met in Avristar. That boy wasn’t strong enough to face someone like Crestaos. “And he lived?”
Pux smiled. “I don’t know how it happened, but it’s all going to be okay now. There won’t be any more battles.”
Kaliel smiled and excitement saturated her. “That’s great.… ” She sat straighter and let the Flame turn her eyes a familiar amethyst. “Can we go home?”
Pux looked away. There was something different about him, something he wasn’t telling her. She followed his gaze and caught the outline of the man in brown robes with long brown and grayish hair. The one Krishani pointed at before. He was shorter than the elvens but they parted for him as he walked across the hall. His eyes stung the people with ferocity until they settled on her. She pulled her knees to her chest and glanced at Pux who seemed stricken. So there wasn’t anything good between them. She realized he hadn’t said anything about going home and a sticky feeling pooled in her gut. “Who is that?” she asked as the man wended through the crowd towards them.
“Elwen Tavesin,” Pux answered automatically, casting his eyes downward. Elwen reached them and Pux froze, bowing his head in response as Elwen’s eyes hardened.
Elwen’s eyes fell on her and the penetrating gaze made her body jolt. There was an immediate danger in his eyes, one she remembered only once before. It was the same insatiable hunger she witnessed in Crestaos’s white lightning eyes. In Elwen’s brown eyes the venom was faint, but it was there. She wasn’t safe around him.
“The Amethyst Flame?” he presumed, extending a hand to her. She didn’t take it, but got to her feet, realizing how soiled her clothes looked. She also realized she was wet, which was more than uncomfortable. “Welcome to Castle Tavesin. I am Elwen, Krishani’s ancestor.” His hand hung there, outstretched, expectant.
Kaliel frowned and took it briefly, following him as he shook. It wasn’t a custom she was used to in Avristar. The shake made her arm feel heavier. She tried to ignore the feeling and looked at her dress, running her hands along it, brushing off patches of mud. She gave him a meek smile. It seemed like he forgot about Pux and her eyes flicked to the feorn but Pux pretended to be interested in the floor.
“Kaliel,” she began. “My name is Kaliel.” She didn’t like how Elwen addressed her: ‘the Amethyst Flame’. That wasn’t what she thought of herself. Life was better when she was a girl, and not a Flame.
“Aye, sorry. Kaliel.” Elwen smiled wistfully. “Is there anything we can bring you? Food you prefer? Blankets? You probably want to get out of those wet clothes. Can I bring my servants to help you get dressed?” He sounded intimidated by her presence. She looked at an awestruck Pux. So this was the nicest thing Elwen ever said.
“No, thank you. I mean, I’m famished.” She glanced at the hunk of bread on the table and the rest of the food, people picking at it intermittently. “I think I’ll wait until Krishani is finished.”
Elwen smiled wide. “Aye, Krishani. So you were the gift from the land.”
“I’m sorry?”
Elwen shook his head. “I’m sure Krishani will be finished soon.” He pivoted, ready to leave. “I’ll send my servants the moment you need them. Simply say the word.” He hastened across the stony floor and pressed his feet into the soiled red carpet, being absorbed by the crowd.
Kaliel felt her knees buckle as she slunk against the wall. She glanced at Pux. He looked bewildered. She pushed her head against the stone. “Everything is so different here.”
Pux raised an eyebrow. “And he’s never that nice. What are you Kaliel?” He sounded almost teasing. She sighed and glared at him. “The way he looked at you.…”
She shuddered and he lay down on her thigh. She rested her hand on his neck. “I don’t want to talk about it. Don’t make me remember it. Can you talk about Avristar?”
Pux took a deep breath. “Do you remember that time at the pond with Lorus?”
She smiled. “You mean that time you two tried to outdo each other by climbing as high as you could and jumping in?”
“Aye, that time.”
Kaliel sighed. Her mind drifted to Krishani and his coldness, Elwen and his dangerous eyes, but she settled against the wall and tried to pretend she was back at home in Evennses watching Pux and Lorus climb trees. She feared nothing would ever be like that again.
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