Chapter Seven
DOWN IN THE TUNNELS
WHERE THE REPTILOIDS GO
X X X
Everyone in the lobby stopped what they were doing and looked round sharply as Daniel and Tina slammed through the doors. They all clearly expected to see them looking like death warmed over again . . . and actually seemed a little disappointed when they found that wasn’t the case. Daniel and Tina stood together, backs straight and heads held high, so everyone could get a good look at how magnificent they were. Daniel waited until he was sure the point had been made, and then gave the watching crowd his best hard stare, at which point everyone went back to work.
“I do like to see other people being busy,” said Tina.
“Even though the armorer isn’t here to crack the whip over them,” Daniel observed.
“Where do you suppose she’s hiding herself?” said Tina.
“Probably taking her ease in her luxurious office on the top floor,” said Daniel. “Planning something else we don’t know about, and won’t like one bit when we do.”
“You know,” Tina said wistfully, “I’m almost sure there was a time when we were in charge of Jekyll & Hyde Inc.”
And then they broke off, as the armorer’s favorite came hurrying through the crowd toward them. Joyce slammed to a halt in front of Daniel and Tina and grinned brightly—the same bright and cheerful presence, bubbling over with enthusiasm as she prepared to be useful.
“Hi! It’s me again! The armorer—”
Tina glowered at her fiercely. “Stop that, right now. No woman should ever be that eager to follow orders. Stand up for yourself!”
“Well, yes,” said Joyce. “But . . . Patricia is the armorer! And she is just so cool!”
Tina shook her head and turned to Daniel. “You talk to her.”
“What can we do for you, Joyce?” Daniel said kindly.
Joyce bounced up and down on her toes, grinning broadly. “You remember me!”
“You made an impression,” said Daniel. “Now, what is so important you had to run all the way across the lobby to tell us?”
“Patricia instructed me to wait here for you,” said Joyce.
Tina scowled. “How long have you been waiting for us to show up?”
“About ten minutes,” said Joyce.
Tina looked to Daniel. “How could the armorer know we were on our way back, never mind so close?”
“She has people,” said Daniel. “No doubt they report in. Where is Patricia right now, Joyce?”
“I’m to escort you to the armory,” Joyce said importantly. “She’s waiting to talk to you.”
Daniel frowned. “We have to go back to the old building?”
“Oh no,” Joyce said happily. “The entire armory has been moved here, and reestablished on our first floor.”
“How is that even possible?” said Daniel. “The old armory took up half of the floor, and was packed full of incredibly dangerous things that really didn’t like being interfered with.”
Joyce shrugged. “None of us were involved in the move. Patricia just announced it as a done deal. And you really don’t ask her questions when she’s got that look on her face. Besides, most people would rather rip their own heads off than have anything to do with the armory. We’ve all heard stories . . .” And then she leaned forward, so she could lower her voice conspiratorially. “The general feeling is Patricia found some kind of teleport system in the armory, and used it to transport the whole thing in one go.”
“The old armorer never said anything to us about a teleport system,” said Tina.
“To be fair,” said Daniel, “we never asked. And given that we’ve spent most of the night beating up aliens, is a teleport really so unlikely? Especially when you consider some of the stuff we do know about.”
“Like what?” Joyce said immediately.
“You don’t want to know,” said Tina. “You’d have nightmares.”
“All right, Joyce,” said Daniel. “Take us to Patricia.”
“I’ll take you to the armory door,” said Joyce. “But if it’s all the same to you, I think I’ll wait outside while you go in.”
“And disobey a direct order from Pamela?” said Daniel.
Joyce grinned. “I’m loyal, not stupid.”
“Good for you!” said Tina. “You’ll have a backbone before you know it.”
“Play nicely, Tina,” said Daniel.
“I will when everyone else does,” said Tina.
They took the elevator up to the first floor. It tried to play an easy listening version of the Rolling Stones’ “Let It Bleed” at them, until Daniel punched a hole in the steel wall and ripped out the speakers. The elevator continued its journey in a sulky silence. Joyce looked worshipfully at Daniel, and he just knew Tina would never let him forget that. The elevator delivered them to the first floor as quickly as possible, and the doors sprang open with almost indecent haste. Joyce went charging off down the corridor, while Daniel and Tina ambled along in the rear, refusing to be hurried. Daniel looked thoughtfully around him. The first floor still struck him as disturbingly quiet and empty, compared to the hustle and bustle of the lobby.
Tina frowned, as the same thought occurred to her. She called out to Joyce, and she came speeding back to look at Tina expectantly.
“We know the tailors are here,” said Tina. “Why hasn’t anyone else moved in?”
“You’ll have to ask Patricia about that,” said Joyce. “We don’t get told much.”
“I’m sure the armorer will tell us, if we ask her nicely,” said Daniel.
“Patricia knows everything!” Joyce said proudly.
“Let’s hope not,” said Daniel. “Does the armory take up half of this floor?”
“So people say,” said Joyce. “But no one I know has felt like coming up here to check. Was it always that big?”
“The Hyde armory is basically one big warehouse, packed full of strange and unusual weapons and devices,” said Tina.
“But the war against the monster Clans is over,” Joyce said carefully. “And since you and Daniel are doing such a marvelous job of demolishing the alien bases, why do we need so many weapons?”
“Once it was monsters, now it’s aliens,” said Daniel. “But even after they’re all dead and gone, you can bet something else will come along. Hydes always have enemies.”
Halfway along the corridor, they were forced to stop when a reinforced barrier sealed off the rest of the floor. The only way through was a single steel door. Joyce took one glance, and ducked behind Daniel and Tina. The Hydes looked the door over carefully. There were no guards, and no obvious defenses or protections. Just a very familiar warning sign above the door: Please Don’t Drop Anything.
“This looks exactly the way I remember it,” said Tina. “Not a single change . . . What is that woman up to?”
“Maybe she’s feeling nostalgic,” said Daniel.
“I don’t have a key for the door,” Joyce said tentatively. “Maybe you’re supposed to knock?”
“Hydes don’t knock,” Tina said firmly.
“The old armory door was never locked,” said Daniel.
“Really?” said Joyce. “I thought you said it was packed full of really horrible things?”
“You don’t have to worry about people getting in there,” said Tina. “The armory can look after itself. You’d be better off worrying about all the truly appalling things that want to get out.”
“Oh, I worry,” said Joyce. “I really do.”
Daniel approached the door as though he was perfectly ready to walk right through it, and the door fell back before him. Tina moved quickly forward to join him and they strode through the opening, daring anything to have a go at them. And then they both paused and looked back, when they realized Joyce was still standing outside. She shot them a quick and entirely unconvincing smile.
“You don’t need me now. I’m sure you can find Patricia on your own.”
“Disobedience and defiance to orders are one thing, not doing something because you’re afraid is something else,” Tina said sternly. “Get your arse in here, right now.”
Joyce got as far as the doorway, and then stopped and peered unhappily at the Hydes.
“It’s just that I’ve heard so many rumors . . .”
“I’m sure you have,” said Daniel. “But now you have two big brave Hydes to watch over you.”
“And you do want Patricia to be proud of you, don’t you?” said Tina.
That clinched it for Joyce. She raised her chin, squared her narrow shoulders, and scurried through the doorway. And then tried really hard not to jump when the door slammed shut behind her. Daniel stared around at the brightly lit armory, which seemed to stretch away forever. It all looked just as he remembered, right down to the general feeling of unease and an overwhelming sense of danger.
“What are you looking for?” said Joyce, and Daniel gave her points for keeping her voice steady.
“It’s always wise to keep a watchful eye out for predators when you enter a jungle,” said Tina. “Stand tall, Joyce—there are things here that can sense fear.”
“It’s not that bad,” Daniel said quickly to Joyce. “It’s just that there are some items that would benefit from being nailed down and having chains thrown over them. And I still wouldn’t trust them.”
Tina nodded briefly to Joyce. “Don’t let any of this bother you. Hydes need unusual weapons because we have to fight unusual enemies. But there’s nothing here that won’t do what it’s told, if you slap it hard enough.”
“Take us to the armorer, Joyce,” said Daniel.
“You do know how to find her?” said Tina.
Joyce nodded quickly. “She gave me a map.”
The hand-drawn map showed a carefully marked route through the maze of shelves. Joyce traced the way carefully with a rose-pink nail, and then set off with something that might have passed for confidence if you didn’t look at it too closely.
They passed open shelving, glass display cases, and the occasional large box with spikes on the inside, featuring everything from steampunk antiques to futuristic shapes that made no sense at all. They all possessed a certain threatening glamor, along with a sense of something dangerous just waiting to be put to use. One of them growled at Daniel when he got too close, only to go very quiet when he growled back. There were never any labels, instructions, or warning signs. Because either you knew what something was, or you had no business messing with it.
Joyce finally brought the Hydes to a small office that Daniel was sure used to belong to the previous armorer, Miss Montague. And there was Patricia, sitting behind an entirely ordinary desk, working her way through a pile of paperwork. There were none of the luxuries and comforts that filled her office on the top floor—this was a place where work got done. Patricia briefly acknowledged Daniel and Tina, and then nodded approvingly to Joyce.
“Well done. Extra brownie points for not letting the place get to you. Now get back down to the lobby, and tell everyone to stop slacking off.”
Joyce smiled brilliantly at the unexpected praise, spun on her heel, and darted back through the warehouse, with a look in her eye that suggested really bad consequences for anything that bothered her on the way out.
“Our little girl is all grown up,” Daniel said solemnly.
Patricia sat back in her chair and gestured for Daniel and Tina to sit down. They did so, and Patricia looked them over, not even raising an eyebrow as she took in their completely undamaged condition.
“How did you get on with William Dee?”
“Dee is well weird,” said Tina. “But he said he could make contact with the Elder Ones, on our behalf. I have yet to be convinced that is a good idea.”
“How very wise of you,” said Patricia.
Daniel looked expectantly at her, but the armorer had nothing more to say. Daniel decided to change the subject.
“How did you move the armory here?”
Patricia actually smiled, just for a moment. “You’d be amazed at some of the things my predecessors acquired down the years . . . though perhaps amazed isn’t quite the right word. Appalled is probably better. Aliens have been visiting the Earth throughout human history, and left all kinds of things behind, just waiting to be picked up by someone with an eye to the main chance. All I had to do was search through the inventory, locate a teleport device, and talk to it nicely—and here we are.” She looked at the warehouse with all the pride of ownership, and then nodded briefly to the Hydes. “Come with me.”
She started to get up, and then stopped as Daniel sat firmly back in his chair, to make it clear he had no intention of going anywhere just because the armorer thought it was a good idea. Tina did the same, only more aggressively.
“You did say you wanted weapons,” said Patricia.
“Who are we taking on this time?” said Daniel.
“My people have discovered the current location of the Reptiloid base,” said Patricia.
“And it’s right here in London, isn’t it?” said Daniel.
“Yes,” said Patricia. “Islington, to be precise.”
Daniel shook his head. “Why am I not surprised?”
“Because you are a deeply cynical person,” said Patricia.
“I hate to show my ignorance,” said Tina, “but what are Reptiloids, exactly?”
“Big humanoid lizardy things,” said Daniel. “Some say they’re from outer space, others believe they’re descended from ancient Celtic snake gods. Basically scales and teeth, tails and claws. And forked tongues. Think intelligent crocodiles with delusions of grandeur.”
Tina smiled. “I can handle crocs. I’ve still got the boots I made from one of the big bastards we fought in the sewers under the British Museum.”
Daniel looked thoughtfully at Patricia. “How did your people find the base?”
“By going to bad places, and listening carefully while bad people talked,” said Patricia. “It’s amazing what people will admit to, once they’ve been encouraged with free drinks, or just a sympathetic listening ear.”
“They have consciences?” said Daniel.
“They like to boast,” said Patricia. “What’s the point of knowing important secret things, if you can’t use them to impress other people? Apparently the Reptiloids are up to something that needs to be stopped right now, before it gets out of hand. So if you’ll just come with me, I’ll sort out some suitably unpleasant things to take with you.”
Daniel shook his head, and folded his arms across his chest. Tina quickly copied him, to demonstrate unity.
“We want a proper briefing,” Daniel said firmly, “on the grounds that going in blind has not worked out too well for us. We are not going anywhere until you give us enough advance information to ensure we don’t get the crap kicked out of us this time.”
“Right,” said Tina. “We want to know everything you know.”
“You don’t have that much time,” said Patricia. “Oh very well, I suppose I can fill you in on the basics.”
She took a moment to arrange her thoughts, and then launched into lecture mode.
“The Reptiloids have an extensive base in the sewer systems under Islington.”
“Oh hell,” Daniel said disgustedly. “Not the sewers again . . .”
Patricia fixed him with a cold stare. “What?”
“He’s just having a flashback,” said Tina. “Don’t mind him. Carry on.”
“According to Edward’s file,” said Patricia, “the Reptiloids first occupied the tunnels back in Victorian times. But before they could get anything started, they were found out and fought by Edward, who saw their presence as a threat to the organization he was building to fight the monster Clans. He went down into the tunnels, and it’s a tribute to how much Edward scared the Reptiloids that they ended up barricading themselves in so he couldn’t get to them. The Reptiloids put themselves into hibernation, and rather than face the time and expense it would take to dig them out, Edward just left them there.
“But now it seems they’re waking up, either because something alerted them to the power vacuum left by the destruction of the monster Clans, or because Edward finally died. Or maybe because all the other alien bases were getting busy. Either way, Reptiloids are roaming the sewers again, and putting new plans in motion.”
“What kind of plans?” said Tina.
“We don’t know,” said Patricia. “Their human agents are too scared to talk, because the Reptiloids eat people who disappoint them. But something is definitely in the offing, and the general feeling is that when we find out what it is, we’re really not going to like it. So it’s vital you get into the Reptiloid base and destroy it, while they’re still getting started.”
“Do you have an address?” said Daniel. “Islington covers a pretty large area.”
“I have a map of the sewer system,” said Patricia, “but that’s all. Some of my people went down into the tunnels to take a look, and none of them came back. You’ll just have to go down there and follow your nose.”
“Since you know so much,” said Daniel, “why are all the alien bases situated in London?”
“Because that’s where the monster Clans were,” said Patricia. “The aliens wanted to keep an eye on their enemies, so they could take over from them when the opportunity finally presented itself. Aliens take the long view.”
She produced her map and laid it out on the desk. Daniel and Tina leaned forward, to get a better view. The map was very detailed, but there was nothing to suggest which tunnels were controled by the Reptiloids. Daniel gave Patricia his best hard stare.
“If we’re going down into the sewers again, I want hazmat suits.”
“I have something better in mind,” said Patricia. “For now, concentrate on the map. You’ll have to work your way through the system, tunnel by tunnel, until you encounter the Reptiloids.”
“The longer we stay down there, the greater the chance we’ll be discovered,” said Daniel. “Don’t you have anything on your shelves that could help us locate the aliens?”
“Reptiloids are cold-blooded,” said Patricia. “Which means the usual heat-seeking devices won’t work.”
“Give me a minute,” said Tina. She got out her phone.
“Who are you calling?” said Daniel.
“I’ll give you three guesses and the first two don’t count,” said Tina. “Now hush . . . Ah! Alan, it’s me!”
Daniel pushed his head in beside hers so he could listen in, just in time to hear Alan Diment’s resigned sigh.
“I haven’t even got back to bed yet,” he said. “All these years without so much as a Christmas card, and now you won’t leave me alone. What do you want, Tina?”
“It’s about the Reptiloids,” said Tina. “Apparently they’re up to something.”
“We know,” Alan said immediately.
“Why didn’t you tell me that before?” said Tina.
“You didn’t ask,” Alan said reasonably.
“Well, we’re asking now,” Daniel said loudly.
“Hello, Daniel!” said Alan. “Honestly, how do you put up with her?”
“Being a Hyde helps,” said Daniel. “Listen, while we’re here, do you know where the Reptiloids come from?”
“Some of the older reports pointed to Venus,” said Alan. “Though given what we know now of that world’s appalling surface conditions, that now seems unlikely. Other reports claim the Reptiloids were cloned shock troops, genetically engineered by one of the other alien races, until they broke free and went their own way. There are also stories about Celtic snake deities, which only goes to prove some people will believe anything.”
“Do you know what the Reptiloids are up to?” said Daniel.
“All we can be sure of that they’re planning an attack,” Alan said carefully. “I have planned a response, and placed the details before my superiors, but I’m still waiting for authorization. Of course, if you were to go down there and start some trouble . . .”
“I’m amazed you survived this long without Hydes to lean on,” said Tina. “Do you know where we should look for the Reptiloid base?”
“We’ve got a pretty good idea,” said Alan. “I’ll send you a map.”
There was a brief pause, and then Alan’s map appeared on Tina’s phone. It looked much the same as Patricia’s, with one section of tunnels helpfully highlighted. Along with useful entrance points from the streets above.
“Some of those manhole covers haven’t been opened in ages,” said Alan. “Workmen are supposed to go down into the sewers at regular intervals to check out conditions, but it would seem money has been going into the right pockets to make sure that didn’t happen. The Reptiloids have a lot of human agents protecting them.”
“More bloody Renfields,” Tina growled.
“Why haven’t you done something about these people?” said Daniel.
“We know about the ones we know about,” Alan said carefully. “But we also know there are more that we don’t know about. If we wipe out the agents in our files, the others would just disappear and we might never find them. The only thing we can be sure of, is that more and more Reptiloids are emerging from hibernation—and they won’t stay down in the sewers for long.”
“How do you know that?” said Daniel.
“I have people inside their people,” said Alan.
“Of course you do,” said Tina. “Thanks for the information, Alan.” She put her phone away and smiled happily at Patricia. “You’re not the only one who knows things.”
“I didn’t know you knew Alan Diment,” said Patricia.
“We didn’t know you knew him,” said Daniel.
“I know what I need to know,” said Patricia.
“Have you found out yet who sent that fleet of assault helicopters to destroy our old building?” said Tina.
Patricia shook her head. “Lots of people are claiming responsibility, just for the bragging rights, but it’s hard to discern who was actually behind the attack. There’s no shortage of credible suspects, because so many people have good reason to hate Hydes. It would have helped if you could have hung on to a few soldiers for questioning.”
“We were fighting for our lives!” said Daniel. And then he stopped, and looked at her thoughtfully. “What are the chances of another aerial attack, on this building? You’ve gone out of your way to make sure everyone knows Jekyll & Hyde Inc. is alive and well and back in business.”
“I have people watching the skies,” said Patricia, “and weapons systems in place on the roof. If any helicopters show up here, they’re in for a really unpleasant surprise.”
“Hold it,” said Tina. “Why weren’t there any defenses on the old roof?”
“There were,” said Patricia. “Unfortunately, you’d driven away the people who should have been manning them. Don’t worry, I brought them all back, and supplemented them with my own people.”
“It sounds like you have your own private army,” said Daniel.
“I didn’t waste my time after I left Edward,” said Patricia. “I kept busy.”
“Doing what?” said Daniel.
“Ah,” said Patricia. “That would be telling.”
“Why haven’t we heard of you before this?” Tina said bluntly.
Patricia showed the Hydes her brief cold smile again. “Because I am a professional.”
“And that’s how you know Alan Diment,” said Daniel.
“Concentrate on the Reptiloid base,” said Patricia. “Whatever they’re up to, we need to slam the door in their face. Show me Alan’s map again.”
Tina got her phone out.
“The highlighted tunnels still cover quite a large area,” said Patricia. “There’s no telling where the center of operations might be.”
“And Alan didn’t even offer a guess as to how many Reptiloids have emerged from hibernation,” said Daniel. “We could end up facing a whole army of the things.”
“Which means we’re going to need weapons,” said Tina. “Really nasty and unpleasant weapons.”
“What she said,” said Daniel. “Only with even more bullets.”
“I think I can help you with that,” said Patricia. “If you’d care to follow me . . .”
By the time she was up on her feet, Daniel and Tina were already standing waiting for her. Patricia sighed quietly, and then led the way out of her office and into the maze of passageways.
“Guns!” Tina said loudly to Patricia’s back. “We want guns!”
“No, you don’t,” said Patricia, not even glancing back over her shoulder. “Firing guns in such a confined space could cause all kinds of problems—everything from ricochets to giving away your position to the Reptiloids. And anyway, I thought you were all about the joys of hand-to-hand combat?”
“There were times in the other bases when we could have used some long-distance weapons,” said Daniel.
“To thin the herd down to more manageable numbers,” said Tina.
“Good to hear you thinking tactically, for a change,” said Patricia. “But standard weapons won’t help you in the sewers.”
Tina sniffed sulkily. “Want a gun.”
“Well, you can’t have one,” said Patricia. “But dry your eyes and blow your noses, my children, for I have toys and party favors to bestow that will put a smile on your faces and a bounce in your step, because I am a Hyde armorer.”
She stopped before one particular shelf, opened an unlabeled box, and showed Tina the contents.
“Atomic knuckle-dusters,” Patricia said proudly.
Tina grinned broadly. “Really?”
“Well, no, not precisely,” said Patricia. “But they are the next best thing. These brass knuckles have been charged with serious explosive energies, so when you hit somebody you can be sure they’ll stay hit.”
“Cool!” said Tina. She thrust her hand into the box and brought out the knuckle-dusters.
“Don’t try them on here!” Patricia said immediately, and frowned at Tina until she slipped the brass knuckles into her pockets. “If you can’t play responsibly with your toys, you won’t be allowed to have them.”
“Try and get them back,” said Tina.
“What do I get?” said Daniel. “Nuclear nunchucks?”
“Sorry,” said Patricia. “Someone else is using those.”
She set off through the maze again, leaving Daniel and Tina to hurry after her. The armorer finally stopped before another shelf, tapped on the side of an aquarium until the contents stopped fighting, and then reached into the murky waters and brought out three yellowed finger bones, wired together.
“You’ve heard of killing bones?” Patricia said to Daniel. “Point one at somebody, and they drop down dead? Here we have three such bones connected by silver wire personally blessed by a defrocked pope. Just point these bones, concentrate on the killing word I will murmur into your ear in just a moment, and your enemies will explode—suddenly and violently and very messily. All the destructive power and range of a gun, without any of the associated drawbacks, like recoil, ricochet, and something else beginning with R that I can’t be bothered to think of at the moment.”
“Very nice,” said Daniel, making no move to accept the bones. “What’s the catch?”
“What makes you think there’s a catch?” said Patricia.
“Experience,” said Daniel.
“You are, of course, entirely correct,” said Patricia. “You can only use the bones a limited number of times before you use up all the stored energies . . . and we have no record of how many times they’ve been used in the past.”
“I’ll take them anyway,” said Daniel.
“Thought you would,” said Patricia. She dropped them into his hand, and then leaned forward to murmur the activating word. Daniel blushed, just a little. Tina looked at him curiously, but he shook his head firmly.
“And that is all the weapons I am going to give you,” said Patricia.
“What?” said Tina, ominously.
“Hold it right there, Armorer,” said Daniel. “You don’t get to make decisions like that. We will decide what we need to carry out a mission successfully.”
“What he said,” said Tina. “Only with even more authority.”
“As armorer, I am in the best position to decide what you need,” said Patricia. “If you have a problem with that, get yourself another armorer. If you can find anyone prepared to even enter this place without filling their underwear.”
“Won’t the Reptiloids have weapons?” said Daniel.
“Quite possibly,” said Patricia. “What do you want me to do—go down into the sewers with you and hold your hands?”
“Oh, would you?” said Tina. “That would make us feel so much better.”
Patricia gave her a hard look. “They probably won’t use weapons for the same reason you can’t: because too many things could go wrong. Think positive.”
Daniel scowled. “What about the hazmat suits? Those sewers are full of filth and disease. The microbes are so big they lurk around in side tunnels, waiting to jump out and mug you. I am not going down into the sewers again without proper protection, and industrial-strength nose plugs to keep out the smell.”
Tina nodded. “I remember smells so bad they could turn your nose inside out.”
Patricia shook her head. “Hazmat suits are so last decade. I think we can do better than that.”
She set off again, darting this way and that without hesitating, and finally stopped before a taller than usual set of shelves. She went up on her toes to reach for something right at the back, which immediately shifted away out of reach. Patricia glared at it.
“Don’t make me have to come up there.”
There was a pause as something thought about that, and then a grubby cardboard box launched itself off the shelf and into the armorer’s hands. She took out two silver circlets, and tossed the box over her shoulder.
“Fasten these torcs about your throats, and not only will they protect you from the general appalling conditions, they will also conceal you from your enemies . . . as long as you’re not standing right in front of them. Don’t say I never do anything for you.”
Daniel and Tina stuffed the torcs in their pockets.
“What about flashlights?” said Daniel. “It’s going to be very dark in the tunnels.”
“We need to see what we’re fighting,” said Tina.
“Flashlights would only warn the Reptiloids where you are,” said Patricia. “The torcs will allow you to see clearly no matter how dark it gets.”
Daniel looked thoughtfully at the armorer. “You’ve been giving this mission a lot of thought.”
“That’s my job,” said Patricia.
“But no more weapons?” said Tina.
Patricia sighed. “You don’t need any more. Daniel will give the Reptiloids the explodo, and you can beat up any still left standing.”
“It’s not enough just to take down the Reptiloids,” said Daniel. “We have to destroy the whole base, to send a proper message. And after having to improvise an explosion in the Martian and Bug-Eyed Monster bases, I think we need to take something bomby with us this time. The previous armorer was very good when it came to bombs.”
“I can do that,” said Patricia. “In fact, I have just the thing in mind. Follow me, and don’t stray from the path. There are wolves in the wood.”
“Bring them on,” said Daniel.
“Yeah,” said Tina. “We’re feeling peckish.”
Patricia gave them a look that said she was going to rise above that, and set off through the passageways again. Daniel and Tina trudged along behind her. Tina moved in close so she could murmur in Daniel’s ear.
“We shouldn’t have had to ask for a bomb.”
“A bomb should come as standard, for a Hyde armorer,” said Daniel.
“No whispering in class!” Patricia said loudly. “Or you can all stay behind in detention.”
She stopped abruptly before a glass display case, lifted the lid, and brought out a single particularly unimpressive item.
“That is a brick,” said Tina.
“No, it isn’t,” said Patricia.
“With a big red button on it,” said Daniel.
“If that’s a bomb, it’s a really good disguise,” said Tina.
“You don’t want a bomb,” said Patricia. “Anything powerful enough to blow up that many sewer tunnels would collapse the whole area. However, think of the old story about placing a frog in a bowl of water. If the water is too hot, the frog just jumps out, but if you put it in cool water and then heat it gradually, the frog won’t notice. He’ll just keep paddling away and boil to death. And that’s what we’re going to do. Reptiloids are cold-blooded, and only function properly in warm temperatures.”
“So we lower the temperature gradually,” said Daniel, “and the aliens will go back to sleep.”
Tina scowled. “But what am I supposed to do with a brick? Throw it at a Reptiloid?”
“The device is currently configured to look like a brick,” Patricia said patiently, “so you can just leave it lying around and no one will notice. Be grateful. Considering where you’re going, I could have made it look like something much worse. All you have to do is set this as near the center of the base as possible, and then hit the button to activate it. The device will immediately start lowering the temperature. Its field should be powerful enough to cover the entire sewer system.”
“Should?” said Daniel.
Patricia shrugged. “It’s an imperfect world.”
She handed the brick to Daniel, and then handed Tina what appeared to be a remote control with a big red button on it.
“Why does everything have to have a big red button?” said Daniel.
“So you won’t get confused,” said Patricia. “Once you’ve set the brick in place and activated it, get the hell out of the sewers. Try not to get seen doing that. We don’t want the Reptiloids to work out what’s happening, and leave the tunnels before you hit the button on the remote and set off the brick’s secondary function, sending a wave of intense heat racing through the tunnels.”
“Why did the Reptiloids set their base in the sewers in the first place?” said Tina.
“Maybe it reminds them of home,” said Patricia.
“Good answer,” said Daniel.
“I thought so,” said Patricia.
Tina glowered at Daniel. “Suddenly you’re on her side?”
“Only when she’s right,” said Daniel.
“Good answer,” said Tina.
“Don’t touch the remote until you’re safely back on the surface,” said Patricia. “Once you hit that button, the flames will incinerate every living thing in the sewers. And be sure to stand well away from the manhole opening.”
“Won’t the intense heat damage the sewer systems?” said Daniel.
Tina shook her head. “Always the Boy Scout.”
“Somebody has to be,” said Daniel.
“The brick is not a bomb,” said Patricia, holding onto her patience with both hands. “It’s an incendiary. The flames will just remove all the accumulated crap. Victorians built their sewers to last. Always assuming the device does what it’s supposed to.”
Tina shot the armorer a hard look. “Run that last part by me again.”
“No one has checked this particular item out in ages,” said Patricia. “And it’s not like we can test it. With devices like this, a certain amount of unpredictability comes with the territory.”
“I can live with that,” said Tina.
“As long as we keep a safe distance,” said Daniel.
“Precisely,” said Patricia. “Now off you go, my children. Hop like bunnies, have fun, and this time try not to come back looking like you’ve been fed headfirst into a giant Cuisinart. My supplies of pick-me-up are limited.”
“We are not going anywhere,” Daniel said firmly, “until we have got on the outside of a really big meal and some serious drinks. There’s nothing like trashing alien bases to work up a real appetite.”
“What he said, only with even more stomach noises,” said Tina. “Have you set up a canteen yet?”
“Oh please,” said Patricia. “We have a staff restaurant, with our very own chef.”
“At some point,” said Daniel, “there needs to be a very serious discussion about your operating budget.”
“Of course,” said Patricia. “How are you with spreadsheets?”
“Food!” Tina said loudly. “Right now, if not sooner!”
Patricia shook her head. “Go back to the armory door. You’ll find Joyce waiting for you. She can take you to where you need to be.”
“How do you get her to jump at your every instruction?” said Daniel.
“She thinks I’m cute,” said Patricia.
“There’s no accounting for taste,” said Tina.
One meal of many courses and repeated deserts, washed down with the finest wines and brandies in creation later, Daniel and Tina set out across London in their stolen police car. It was getting close to midday, and the streets were packed with the usual bad-tempered traffic, but there’s nothing like a police car driven with speed and enthusiasm to convince everyone else to get out of the way. When they finally got to Islington, Tina connected Alan Diment’s map to the car’s satnav, and a posh female voice guided them to an especially ugly back alley. Daniel and Tina got out of the car and took a good look around them, but there didn’t seen to be anyone else about.
It was all stained and crumbling brick walls, with not even a single window overlooking the alley. Filth and garbage had piled up against the walls, as though carried there by some unseen tide. Tina turned up her nose.
“Who lives in a place like this?”
“This isn’t the kind of place where anyone lives,” said Daniel. “It’s just somewhere people pass through. Probably to do something illegal, immoral, and entirely unwise.”
“My kind of place,” said Tina, and they shared a smile.
It didn’t take them long to locate the manhole in the middle of the alley. Daniel bent over the grime-encrusted steel cover, and it stared back at him like a diseased eye, daring him to do his worst. He struggled to get a good grip, and then hurt his back trying and failing to shift the damned thing. He straightened up, and massaged his lower back muscles with both hands.
“We should have brought crowbars,” he said stiffly. “And possibly a stick or two of dynamite.”
“Just Hyde up and move the bloody thing,” said Tina.
Daniel punched the steel cover so hard it bent in the middle, and the edges rose into the air with unpleasant sucking sounds. Daniel ripped the cover free, and threw it away so hard it hit the wall and dug in. He leaned over the dark opening, took a quick sniff, and then retreated quickly, shaking his head hard to try and drive out the horrible smell that had got in. He quickly took out his silver torc, and snapped it into place around his throat. He didn’t feel any different, but when he moved cautiously back to sniff at the opening again he couldn’t smell a thing. Tina moved in beside him, her torc already in place, and they stared down into the darkness that filled the opening.
“After you,” Tina said brightly.
“Oh no,” said Daniel. “Ladies first.”
“I’m no lady,” said Tina. “I’m a Hyde. Now get your arse down there.”
Daniel descended a ladder of iron hoops hammered into the brick wall. They all gave disturbingly under his weight, and he was careful not to test their strength for too long. He jumped the last few feet, and then stepped quickly out of the way as Tina came hurrying down after him. Daniel pulled a face as he looked at the water filling the bottom of the curved tunnel. It was dark and scummy, and had things floating in it that made him wish he wasn’t ankle deep in the stuff. Tina dropped down beside him, looked at what she was standing in, and then glared at Daniel as though it was all his fault.
The brick tunnel had curved walls, floor, and ceiling, and was only just big enough to hold the two Hydes. Daniel felt as though he’d entered a subterranean artery, or some other less pleasant part of the body. The brickwork was cracked and pitted, and stained so badly in places it looked almost diseased. Thick mats of blue and purple moss clumped here and there on the walls.
Tina grinned. “They say if you smoke that stuff, it can give you serious insights into the mysteries of the universe.”
“Are these the same people who told you drilling a hole between your eyes would make you smarter?” said Daniel.
“I’d still like to try that some time,” said Tina.
“I think not drilling a hole in your head is a pretty good sign that you’re already intelligent enough,” said Daniel.
“Hold everything,” said Tina. “There’s no light down here, but I can see perfectly clearly.”
Daniel looked up and down the tunnel. There were no working lights, just the shaft of daylight dropping down through the opening, but Daniel could still make out every detail in the tunnel.
“It’s the torcs,” he said.
“These things really are amazing,” said Tina. “You could burgle anywhere with these. No way I’m giving them back when this is over.”
“Let’s go look for some Reptiloids,” said Daniel.
He set off along the tunnel, and Tina trudged along beside him, muttering under her breath. A rat the size of a cat swam past them, pursued by something larger that Daniel didn’t recognize. After a while the tunnel branched off in several different directions. Daniel peered into one arched opening after another, but they all looked the same.
“The Reptiloids are supposed to be all over this section,” Tina said quietly. “So why haven’t we bumped into any yet?”
“Maybe they’re hiding from us,” said Daniel.
“That would be the sensible option,” said Tina.
And then both their heads snapped round as they heard something moving in one of the side tunnels, splashing through the waters and not giving a damn if anyone heard them. Tina grinned at Daniel.
“What say we go check out the suspicious noises?”
“We are supposed to be in sneak mode,” said Daniel.
“Aren’t you curious to see what a Reptiloid looks like?” said Tina.
“You just want to hit something,” said Daniel.
“And you don’t?”
“Okay,” said Daniel. “You knock it down, and I’ll trample it.”
“Good plan,” said Tina.
They set off down the side tunnel, but only managed a few yards before they had to duck back around a corner to avoid being spotted by an approaching crowd of Reptiloids. Daniel and Tina found an indented archway and pressed their backs flat against the moss-covered brickwork. And then they both stood very still as the aliens passed by, so close Daniel could have reached out and tapped one on the shoulder. But the Reptiloids didn’t even glance at the Hydes, because the aliens didn’t have torcs that let them see clearly in the dark.
The Reptiloids were roughly human in shape, but so tall they had to bend right over to avoid banging their heads on the ceiling. Broad-shouldered and barrel-chested, with long tapering waists, the arms were so long their hands hung down to their knees. The curved fingers ended in vicious claws that looked designed for tearing and gutting. The Reptiloids had scaled hides, mostly gray but with raised patches of red and purple, and their faces thrust forward in long muzzles packed full of teeth. The eyes were a dull red, glowing like the last coals in a guttering fire, full of ancient inhuman knowledge.
They turned the corner into another tunnel, and Daniel slowly relaxed. The Reptiloids were the first aliens that looked like they could go one-on-one with a Hyde. Daniel took out his killing bones and looked to Tina, who held up her brass-knuckled fists.
“You were born to wear those,” said Daniel.
Tina beamed at him. “You say the sweetest things.”
“But let’s not rush to start anything,” said Daniel. “We’re here to plant the brick.”
“Don’t I get to hit anything?”
“Let’s let the incendiary do the heavy lifting.”
Tina sniffed. “Well, you’re no fun.”
They moved on, darting from one tunnel to another whenever they heard something approaching, and trusting to the shadows to keep them hidden. Reptiloids came and went on unknown missions, occasionally pausing to communicate in short bursts of hissing, like angry steam whistles. Daniel kept pressing forward, trying to reach the center tunnels highlighted on Alan Diment’s map, but every way he tried was blocked with Reptiloids. Tina leaned in close to murmur in his ear.
“I think this is as far as we’re going to get. This might not be the center of the base, but it’s so densely populated we must be close. Let’s just drop the brick and get the hell out of here. The longer we spend in these tunnels, the more likely we are to be spotted.”
Daniel looked at her. “I said that, back in the armory.”
“I know,” said Tina. “I was listening.”
“Let’s try just a little farther,” said Daniel. “A lot of Reptiloids have been heading down this particular tunnel, and I’d like to know why.”
Tina shrugged. “I never was any good at being the voice of reason.”
A few sharp turns later they entered a single huge chamber, where long ranks of hibernating Reptiloids stood stiffly together, wrapped in thick gray shrouds. Silent and still, they had been set shoulder to shoulder, leaning back against the brick walls. Daniel moved slowly forward, his killing bones at the ready, while Tina kept an eye on the way they’d come. Daniel pushed his face right into a sleeping Reptiloid’s, but there was no reaction. He tested the gray shroud, pulling gently at it with his fingertips. It felt like greasy cobwebs. The Reptiloid stirred, and Daniel froze where he was. The alien stopped moving, and Daniel carefully pulled his hand back.
He moved on into the chamber, and Tina hurried after him, determined not to be left out of anything. And right at the back they discovered a great pile of human bodies, looking as though they’d just been dumped there. At first Daniel thought they were dead, but when he moved in closer he could see they were breathing shallowly. He shook a few shoulders, but none of them responded.
“Are they hibernating, like the Reptiloids?” said Tina.
“There’s no shroud around any of them,” said Daniel.
He took a firm hold on one man and hauled him out of the pile. He turned the unresponsive figure over onto his back . . . and that was when he saw the alien egg. Dark, scaly, the size of a man’s fist, it protruded from the man’s bare belly, with thick purple veins disappearing into the pale flesh as though pumping some alien poison. Patches of crocodile scales showed clearly on the man’s skin, and there was something wrong in the length of his arms and legs. Claws were forming on the fingertips.
“What the hell is this?” said Tina. “Some kind of hybrid?”
“Worse than that,” said Daniel. “The Reptiloids are implanting their eggs in living human hosts, and the eggs are transforming these people into Reptiloids. The aliens are creating their own invasion army . . . out of us.”
“They couldn’t have just gone up onto the streets and abducted people,” said Tina. “Someone would have noticed.”
“I’ve been wondering why we haven’t bumped into any of the aliens’ human agents,” said Daniel. “And now I think I know why. The Reptiloids must have decided they didn’t need their agents anymore, except as hosts for their eggs.”
“Bastards . . .” said Tina.
“It doesn’t matter whether it’s Martians, Bug-Eyed Monsters, or Reptiloids,” said Daniel. “To aliens, humans are just something to be used.”
“What are we going to do about this?” said Tina, gesturing at the pile of unmoving bodies.
“As long as these people are here, we can’t use the incendiary,” said Daniel. “The flames would kill them.”
“But how many people might die if we don’t shut down this base?” said Tina. “Alan seemed pretty sure the Reptiloids were on the brink of starting something awful.”
“I couldn’t save anyone in the Bug-Eyed Monsters base!” said Daniel. “I have to help someone here!”
Tina met his gaze steadily. “Do you know any way to reverse their condition?”
“If we can get them back to the armory, Patricia might be able to do something.”
“We can’t carry this many people back through the tunnels.”
“I won’t give up on them! I have to try!”
“Of course you do,” said Tina.
Daniel raised the man before him into a sitting position, and slapped his face hard. The eyes snapped open, and they were red and alien. They locked onto Daniel, and the expression on the man’s face had nothing human in it. He opened his mouth to scream a warning. Daniel grabbed the man’s head with both hands and broke his neck, and then lowered the body to the floor as gently as he could. Tina put a comforting hand on Daniel’s shoulder.
“Sometimes you have to concentrate on the people you can save. Let’s just plant the brick and go. I’ve had enough of this place.”
Daniel removed the brick from the container he’d improvised inside his jacket. He pressed the big red button to activate it, and then tucked the brick out of sight under the pile of bodies. He looked at them for a long moment, trying to find the right words, but there didn’t seem to be any. So he just turned his back on the hibernation chamber and moved off into the sewers, with Tina sticking as close to him as she could.
“Do you know where you’re going?” she said, after a while.
“I memorized the route as we came in,” said Daniel.
“Of course you did,” said Tina.
And then they rounded a corner and found a whole group of Reptiloids blocking the tunnel. The aliens didn’t hesitate, just launched themselves at the humans with clawed hands and snapping teeth. Daniel pointed his killing bones, concentrated on the activating word, and then raked the bones back and forth. The nearest Reptiloids exploded, one after another. Heads were blown off, bellies burst apart, and purple blood splashed across the tunnel walls.
The surviving aliens pressed forward, vaulting over their own dead to get to the intruders. Tina went to meet them, lashing out with her knuckle-dusters, smashing Reptiloid skulls and staving in their chests. She laughed out loud as she danced among the aliens, striking them down and trampling their writhing bodies underfoot. Daniel couldn’t use his killing bones with her in the way, so he tucked them away, and went to kill as many Reptiloids as he could with his bare hands.
Alien after alien crashed into the filthy tunnel waters, and did not rise again. Because nothing could stand against Hydes in their hate. Daniel and Tina killed them all, and when they finally stopped and looked around at the piled-up Reptiloid bodies, it didn’t seem too many. Daniel looked back down the tunnel.
“I can hear more of them coming.”
“Where from?” said Tina.
“Everywhere.”
“Time we were leaving,” said Tina. “It’s never a good idea to outstay your welcome.”
They hurried on through the sewer tunnels, splashing through the deepening waters. The sound of pursuit grew louder. Daniel threaded his way through the maze of tunnels without pausing, but when the Hydes finally returned to their entrance point, they found the way blocked by more waiting Reptiloids. Daniel and Tina showed the aliens their teeth, in fierce happy grins. The Reptiloids raised their muzzles and hissed like insane steam whistles. Daniel raked his killing bones back and forth and Reptiloid after Reptiloid exploded in bloody messes, decorating the tunnel walls with blood and gore and splintered bone.
More of the aliens surged forward, and a flailing claw slapped the killing bones out of Daniel’s hand. They dropped into the filthy waters and disappeared from sight, and the Reptiloids fell on the Hydes with cold remorseless fury. Tina moved to the front, because she still had the charged knuckle-dusters. Daniel turned and set his back against hers, so he could face more aliens as they came charging down the tunnel to join the fight. The Hydes lashed out with all their strength and all their rage, and there wasn’t a Reptiloid who could stand against them—but there were always more to take the place of those who fell.
Tina forced her way forward, foot by foot, heading for the ladder on the wall, laughing joyously as she slaughtered everything before her. Daniel moved back with her, step by step, but the numbers crowding in on him were so overwhelming all he could do was strike out at the alien faces before him, and put himself between Tina and the endless lashing claws that cut into him again and again. His blood dripped into the murky waters, mixing with that of the aliens. He never made a sound, because he didn’t want Tina to know what his defense of her was costing him. He lowered his head and hunched his shoulders, and killed every alien he could, ignoring the snapping teeth and claws that gouged his flesh.
He was a Hyde; he could take it. So Tina wouldn’t have to.
And then he realized that the Reptiloids were slowing down. He was dodging and ducking more of their blows, and the ones that landed seemed to have less strength behind them. His breath steamed on the air before him, and Daniel smiled suddenly. The brick was lowering the temperature in the tunnels.
Tina cried out triumphantly as the last of her Reptiloids fell back into the murky waters with its head smashed in. Daniel yelled for her to get to the ladder, and heard Tina grunt with effort as she pulled herself up the iron rungs. He lashed out with his broken bloody hands, clearing some space, and then he turned and went up the rungs after her. He was right behind Tina when a clawed hand closed around his ankle and hauled him off the ladder.
He crashed back into the filthy waters, and grappled with the Reptiloid as they rolled back and forth, tearing at each other like maddened animals. Daniel swung the alien over onto its back, straddled the struggling thing, and thrust its head underwater. It took its time dying, and when Daniel finally let go of it and forced himself onto his feet, a crowd of Reptiloids were staring at him with unblinking bloodred eyes. He smiled at them, and the Reptiloids stayed where they were, frozen in place by Hyde hate and the lowering temperature.
“Daniel!” Tina yelled down through the sewer opening. “Get your arse up here!”
“Hit the button on the remote!” Daniel yelled back.
“Not till you’re out!”
Daniel started up the ladder, hauling himself up one rung at a time. His muscles ached, his back was screaming at him, and blood dripped steadily from his wounds, but he had enough strength to keep going. I am getting really tired of having the crap beaten out of me, he thought, but I saved Tina. He looked up as she called his name. Tina was leaning right down through the opening, one arm stretched out to him. Daniel reached up and grabbed her hand, and she hauled him up and out into the alleyway. Tina made a shocked sound as she took in Daniel’s wounds, but he just gestured at the remote control in her hand.
“Hit it.”
Tina pressed the big red button, and a fountain of flame burst up out of the sewer opening, seething and roaring as it climbed high into the sky. The heat was so extreme it drove Daniel and Tina all the way back to the end of the alley. Eventually the fiery column collapsed back into the sewers, and soon only a few wisps of smoke emerged from the opening. Daniel would have liked to hear some screams, but he supposed you couldn’t have everything. He turned to Tina and raised a hand, and the Hydes solemnly high-fived each other.
“One more base down,” said Tina. And then she stopped, and looked closely at Daniel. “Your wounds are closing. And your bruises are disappearing even as I look at them.”
“I feel great,” said Daniel. “And I don’t think it’s anything to do with Patricia’s little pick-me-up still being in my system. It’s just my body remembering it’s a Hyde, and learning how to cope with all the mess we’ve been going through.”
“So we don’t need to rely on Patricia anymore,” said Tina.
“I don’t think we ever did,” said Daniel. He stretched luxuriously. “No one left but the Greys now. Maybe we won’t need the help of the Elder Ones after all.”
Tina shook her head sadly. “You had to say that . . .”