CHAPTER 2
MASTER OF DISASTER
‘It's got me!’ I scream.
I can feel the pain of a thousand daggers in my flesh. My head starts to spin. Blood is deserting my body. I'm too weak to stand. I am ready to submit to my fate.
Then I remember Mum promised to buy me an ice-cream, with two flavours and sprinkles, tomorrow.
I must fight this beast off.
I look down to find my neighbour Lachlan lying at my feet. His fingernails are buried into my calves.
Bouncing banana muffins! How did I fall for that one!
‘You thought you'd been bitten by a shark,’ Lachlan shrieks. ‘That was so funny. It's dead. Anyone can see that.’
It might be dead, but it's a SHARK. It's the one fish that can scare you whether it's alive or dead.
Why didn't my parents just book the crocodile enclosure at Australia Zoo? That would be a safer place to spend the summer holidays.
But my parents don't see it like that. They think Hazard River is peaceful and picturesque. They think Hazard River is paradise. But they're wrong there. Paradise is just across the river. The holiday town of Paradise, with shops, restaurants and a patrolled beach is where we should be on holidays. There's even a proper city on the other side of the river. Summercity has a cinema and a bowling alley. It's got everything.
I bet sharks don't wash up on that side of the river. They're all over here, with the deadly snakes, venomous spiders ... and Lachlan Master.
Lachlan has been visiting Hazard River since he was five. He's snorkeled with sting rays. He's swum with jellyfish. He's almost stepped on a tiger snake. And he's been bitten by a pelican. (They are a lot more ferocious than they look.) If it's dangerous, he's seen it. If it's risky, he's done it. He's the self-proclaimed King of Hazard River. ‘Master Lachlan’ as he likes to be called.
Master of Disaster – more like it.
‘Looks like it's been dead awhile,’ Lachlan says, giving the shark a prod with his cricket bat. ‘Never seen a big one like that in the river before. It has to be over two metres.’
‘What are sharks doing in the river anyway?’ I whimper. ‘Why aren't they in the sea?’
Lachlan shoots me one of his ‘don't you know anything’ looks. He's very good at those.
‘There are plenty of bull sharks in the river,’ Lachlan informs me. ‘They like a bit of fresh water. You don't have to worry about the small ones. But I reckon a big one like that would rip your leg off without a second thought.’
I have no doubt he's right. But someone or something in the river is big enough or ferocious enough to take on a two-metre shark and win. I don't even want to guess what that might be.
But Ben is guessing.
‘This is the work of pirates,’ Ben declares. He inspects the shark with one hand on the torch and the other on his nose. ‘Look. They've cut off its big fin.’
It's then that I notice the shark does look strange. The dorsal fin, the fin that should warn everyone that the scariest fish in the ocean is on its way, is missing. So are its other fins.
‘Could be pirates. Maybe it was another shark or maybe it was a giant squid,’ Lachlan says.
Lachlan crosses his eyes and drops his tongue from the side of his mouth. It's a very unconvincing impression of a giant squid.
‘Do you really think a giant squid did this?’ Ben says.
‘I think we should find out,’ Lachlan says, giving the shark another poke with his bat.
‘Imagine how famous we'll be if we catch a giant squid in Hazard River. We'll probably get our very own TV show.’
‘Could I take it to school?’ Ben asks. ‘If we find a giant squid, could I take it to school?’
‘You can't take a giant squid to school, Ben,’ Lachlan replies. ‘That's one of the rules at every school. No running. No shouting. No bullying. No giant squid – only normal ones. There's a sign outside every principal's office. You can take it on TV. But not to school.’
Ben frowns. It looks like his collection of dead things will be going to school without any giant squid.
I have to admit I'm tempted to hunt down the shark-killer. I'm all up for the money. The fame. The stretch limousines. It all sounds pretty appealing.
‘We'll find a big net and have a good look around tomorrow,’ I say. ‘See what's out there.’
I'm not sure what we're looking for. But we'll know it, if we find it.
‘No,’ Lachlan says.
He takes Ben's torch and shines it down the river.
‘We start tonight.’