Dramatis Personae
Officer Hotchkiss of the Hornsville Police Department
Death
Comrade Adrianna Dimpla, cosmonaut
Colonel Bart Malone, astronaut
Junior Finkelstein
Nadia Finkelstein, NASA boss
Professor Mark Tompion, mathematician
Dr Lise Panther, mathematician
Adolf Hitler
Art G. Throb, journalist
Jeb, Rachel, Reuben and Nathan Loam of Ambledyke Farm
Klaus or Kurt Schmidt
Tibetan mystics
John Strickler, MoD PR man
Bert Tremble, Science Correspondent of the Daily Grunt
Gwynfor Bjørgstrøm, climatologist
Dr Lucius Apricot, particle physicist
Avedon Patella, Cornish-language agitator
Aubrey Trevelyan, Cornish-language agitator
Loch Ness Monster
Joyce Abramowitz, lemming expert
Zenna Brabham, brilliant junior-school teacher
Dr Al D. Bran, psychologist/psychoanalyst
Stephen King, writer
Professor Ponglass, Tooting Bec Futures Research Institute
Prime Minister
Hive-mind of superglue/enzymic organism
Antichrist
Howard J.P. Spong, multibillionaire and philanthropist
President Heinlein of the USA
Harcourt, technician and spear-carrier
Sir Dick Ingrams, lavatory attendant
W. Bailey, HM Inspector of Taxes, Exeter 7 Division
Mr Wiz, of Ye Olde Bigge Apple Magicke Shoppe
Sc’smv, Cygnan spaceship captain
Stf’ndnl’dsn, Cygnan first mate
Rt’hrcc’lrk, Cygnan lieutenant
M’cffr, Cygnan midshipthing
Dr Nevin, professional Californian
Dr Purnell, self-confessed polymath
Mayor of Los Angeles
Charlton Heston, actor
Warden of Judas College
Benson and Hedges Lecturer in Mathematics, Judas College
Hovis Professor of Legal History, Judas College
Emperor of Atlantis
Captain Pelz, amateur Californian
Ch’rspr’st, Cygnan activist
J’nkkls, Cygnan fellow-traveller
E’nwts’n, Cygnan would-be politician
Great Spong, Cygnan overlord
Reverend Rick Hamfist, fundamental evangelist
Reverend Hunk Brady, evangelical fundamentalist
Aide of the Great Spong, Cygnan interpreter
Dr Scholl’s Reader in Anatomy, Judas College
Arthur, once and future king
Plus werewolves, technicians, vampires, clones, Cygnans, security officers, politicians, congregations, lemmings, gratuitously slandered bystanders, supernumerary mystics, subatomic particles, and corpses to a grand total of approximately four billion.
EARTHDOOM!