Clothe Him in Silk, Cover Him in Gold
Nathaniel charged into my room as soon as I came out of my bath, while I was still mother-naked, and completely vulnerable. My fault.
It wasn’t just that I hadn’t locked the door—I’d spent so much time locked from the outside, it never occurred to me that someone might want to come in to my room. And besides, I’d grown up with retainers coming in and out of my room to lay out clothes or clean something, more or less at will. The Good Man or even his scapegrace son could never lock the door without interfering with the smooth running of the household.
But that wasn’t the problem. The main problem was that I had dawdled and not just because I’d cried in the bath, where no one could see me, overcome suddenly by the loss of my mother on top of what felt, irrationally, like the recent loss of Ben.
It was that I’d also wandered around the room in a daze for a while before bathing. I suppose I should have expected it to have changed. But I didn’t.
Olympus tradition is different from that most of the other houses I’ve heard about, where there is a ruler’s room and an heir’s room. Instead, the house has assigned rooms for each person and the person remains in his own room, regardless of his position.
On the other hand, when I’d left, Max had been in the nursery. And I’d guess they’d moved him into my room when he’d reached the age to leave it, at six or so. No reason why they shouldn’t. I’d certainly not been expected to return.
But instead of the furniture Mother had picked for me, the warm smooth pine shelves and undecorated bed, the low dressers and the comfortable chairs, I was faced with an ornate, heavy and dark wood bed, curtained in dark blue; with pastoral holos on the walls, with carved, polished trunks and dressers. It made the room look exactly like my father’s when I was little, and I can honestly say if this was Max’s taste, I didn’t think highly of it.
There was only one piece of art that I didn’t remember as something my father would surround himself with. It was a damn good likeness—I presumed of Max, or perhaps of my father when he was very young, wearing a casual coat and pants, and with a setter dog at his heels. Done in pencil on paper, it had an archaic look and the lines of it were pure and clear in a way that was highly unfashionable in the holo-enhanced art of our day. There was a spareness to the line that didn’t in any way make the work look cartoonish, and which made me think that the artist was a professional. However, it wasn’t signed. I looked. Which was bizarre since having a piece in the Good Man’s private quarters would make any artist’s career soar.
Whichever it represented, Max or my father, it confirmed for me how startlingly like them I looked, and how different all the same. My face was battered and scarred in a way neither of theirs had been, and over the years of my captivity it had settled into bitter lines.
It had been a while before I tore myself away to get in the bath, and even longer to get out. And I did take a bath, in the deep-sunk marble bathtub, instead of just a shower.
When I came out, water-wrinkled, I rubbed myself with the towel kept in the warming shelf, and wondered how I could have forgotten how soft towels are. But I had. The softness against my skin sent unexpected shocks of pleasure through my body and I smiled to myself, thinking that next I would become a serial towel abuser.
Outside, in my room, someone had laid out a suit that made me raise my eyebrows. Really? Was that what they were wearing? It was gold and blue and more ornate than anything I would have seen in polite society before.
And that was the moment, as I stood there frowning at the suit, thinking it would make a very funny contrast with my scarred features, that Nathaniel Remy burst into the room.
Burst is an advised term, though he wasn’t a large man, and I’d never think of him as a particular attention-getter. He was tall. I’d guess six two or so, probably enough to appear very tall to most people, but his build was—much as his father’s and Ben’s for that matter—lean and long-legged. With pale hair and pale skin, dressed in dark colors, he looked like he should have faded into the background—a dry little clerk going about an uninteresting dry little life.
But as my door burst open, he came in with his fists clenched, his face taut, and his whole body giving the impression he was a powder keg all too eager for a match to set it off.
He closed the door behind, him, as I turned to stare, so surprised that if he’d taken a burner to me, I’d not have reacted even in time to dive for cover. Fortunately he didn’t, though his eyes looked like he’d like to.
Looking up at me, he brought his pale eyebrows down over his dark eyes, and said, with the type of finality that implies both that the person spent a considerable time thinking of what to say, and that he’s afraid of being challenged, “I’m here,” he said. “But you needn’t think…You needn’t think…” His eyes flashed inarticulate hatred.
I never was an angel, even before I was responsible for the deaths of anyone. Ben and I had run a broomer’s lair together, after all.
I will grant you we were the sort other broomers called play-broomers. Unlike them, we didn’t live outside the law, we only visited there in our spare time.
Other than riding brooms, in situations not of an emergency nature—a serious enough infraction in most territories and seacities—we had committed few crimes. We had stolen from a drug transport once, and we’d engaged in territorial fights, like any broomer lair. And never once, in those circumstances, had I ever seen anyone stare at me with so much hatred. Not even my father when he sent me to jail.
It made me feel defenseless, unprepared. I thought that this was Ben’s nephew, that this man had Ben’s eyes, and that he hated me. And why shouldn’t he? Whether I’d killed Ben to halt his suffering or not—that had just been the last step in my involvement in Ben’s life. There wasn’t the slightest doubt in my mind that if I’d never got involved with Ben, Ben would still be alive, probably Sam’s right hand in administration and a fond uncle to this young man.
The idea of that alternate future; the image of Ben mature, assured, respected, made my throat close and my heart shrink, which in turn made me unable to speak.
And it allowed Nathaniel Remy to close the space between us, an inarticulate growl emerging between his clenched teeth and turning into words. “You!” he said. “You needn’t think you can fool me. I don’t care what my father says.” His voice wavered and he stopped, looking startled, not so much at the wavering, I thought, as at the idea he’d talked at all. If it were possible for a man to stare in bewilderment at his own mouth, he’d have done so.
But slowly, he focused on me again. I’d often heard hate described as fire, but I’d never before understood. Now I felt as if, if I stared hard enough at Nathaniel’s dark eyes, I’d find a red pinpoint of smoldering hatred in them. “If you hadn’t got yourself put away, safe and cozy,” Nathaniel said. “You’d be dead and Max— And he—” a watery sound drowned his words, even though his eyes were dry.
It wasn’t funny, but the wrenching of my feelings away from Ben and to Max was so startling, the juxtaposition of Never-Never or even the jail before that—where I’d had to fight tooth and nail to keep the slighter-built Ben from being beaten or worse—and safe and cozy wrenched a surprised laugh from me.
Nathaniel was standing maybe two steps from me, glaring up. At the laugh, he started and jumped, as though I’d slapped him.
His bunched fist shot forward too fast for me to react. It caught me hard on the mouth, and sent me reeling back a step, but not far enough that his left fist didn’t catch me again.
My mind had figured it out by then. I didn’t know why Nat Remy hated me, but surely he had plenty of reason.
And I didn’t know what he thought he was doing, but some things I did know. I knew this was a man in the grip of such a powerful emotion that it had to have totally overpowered his mind. I knew he wasn’t thinking of the penalties for striking the sole, despotic ruler on whose good will his life and the lives of his relatives depended. And I knew he’d forgotten my very existence was his and his family’s only bulwark against destitution and maybe death.
And I knew too that he was Sam’s oldest son and that Sam loved him. That much had been obvious in the way Sam looked at him. And I knew Sam was one of the few—perhaps the only man left alive—for whose good opinion I still cared.
As Nathaniel raised his foot to kneecap me, my mind got hold of my body and I went into my fast mode. I couldn’t allow him to injure me. I couldn’t allow it, not because I didn’t deserve it, but because all Good Men united in punishing crimes against one of them. It was maybe the only thing they all agreed on. And if Nathaniel seriously injured or killed me in a way Sam couldn’t cover up, Nathaniel would die for it. And Sam didn’t deserve that. Not over me.
I dove away from where his foot would have hit, and behind him. Taking advantage of his being off balance, I grabbed both his wrists, secured them into one of my hands, while my arm snaked around him and pulled him tight against me, I pushed him up against the wall, pinning him.
The man didn’t know the meaning of quitting. Or the meaning of self-preservation. He jerked his head trying to hit me, and his attempts to kick backwards made me shift my hold and make it tighter, all the while trying to ignore that he was warm and alive because this was not what I’d thought of when I’d imagined holding someone warm and alive in my arms.
It would have been easy to kill him or incapacitate him from this position, but my purpose was not to kill him.
Not knowing what else to do, I just held on tight, breathing as steadily as I could. I don’t know how long it took, but eventually he stopped trying to attack and began to shake like a leaf in a wind storm, his teeth knocking loudly together.
I recognized the reaction because Ben had had it too. It was the whiplash of the berserker. Nathaniel, like Ben, was a berserker, and when a berserker fit was cut short, he got hit with a near-painful reaction. Ben had never gone berserk at me, but he’d gone into that state a few times in broomer lair fights and had to tamp it down.
Nathaniel had also gone heavy in my grasp, and I thought the reaction probably made him weak enough he couldn’t harm me. I also knew the only way to bring Ben out of one of these, and there was a chance it would work on Nathaniel too.
I saw the drinks table to my left, went over to it, and grabbed a bottle at random. It didn’t matter what it was, provided it was alcoholic.
Ben thought the alcohol worked because of its effect on the nervous system. I thought it worked because it made him concentrate on the burn of alcohol. By the time I got back to Nathaniel, he was in a heap on the floor, shaking, his hands over his face.
I treated him exactly as I’d treated Ben in the same circumstances. I uncapped the bottle, pulled his hands down and shoved the bottle at his lips, then tilted. Most people will drink rather than drown. He did, taking three startled gulps, before pulling his head back and taking a deep breath.
His shaking lessened and he took another breath, then he reached for the bottle from my hand.
Yes, I did think that it might be used as a weapon, but I was now forewarned and, anyway, I was faster than he was. In the event, he did nothing but take another swig of the bottle, swallow, then look at it and say, in startled shock, “Gin. I don’t drink gin.”
I couldn’t keep the laughter in, though I tried, and he looked at me as though seeing me for the first time. The bottle fell from his grasp. It didn’t break, but it rolled sideways, spilling liquid on the carpet. His mouth fell open. His throat worked.
“You,” he said. “I… Damn. I…” He covered his face with his hands, then lowered them and looked resigned but not scared. “I attacked you, Good Man Keeva, and I want to make it clear that I’m acting on my own. Neither my father, my mother, nor any of my siblings, nor any acquaintance or friend or colleague or teacher incited me to do this. It is my fault, my fault alone.” He stood, and faced me, managing to look dignified. “And I will repeat this statement as needed.”
It was, in the circumstances, as noble a speech as I’d ever heard, and he stood with his shoulders thrown back, his head held high, ready to die alone for a moment’s fury. He was an idiot, but a gallant idiot.
“Very likely,” I said. “But you forgot to exonerate one person. I would swear you had nothing to do with your own actions, either.” And, to his startled look. “How long have you been holding back the berserker fit? Since I came in the door?” And, because I’m not a genius, but I can think through cause and effect, and I remembered the horrible description of Max’s death through torture. “You and Max were friends, weren’t you?”
He took a deep breath, nodded. I turned my back on him, deliberately, and walked back to the drinks table. “What do you drink?”
“Nothing. Not at this time of morning. My father would have my skin, and besides…” He sounded surprised, “I don’t think I’ve eaten in…over a day.”
“I imagine,” I said. “With the search for Max and then their finding him murdered.” I found the soda dispenser, filled a glass of soda water, and took it to him. “Drink,” I said, “or you’ll start hiccupping in no time.”
“I cut your lip,” he said. His gaze arrested on my lip. “You’re bleeding.”
“You did?” I wiped at it, leaving a red streak on the back of my hand. “So. No big deal. I’ve done worse to myself.”
He took a sip of the water. “Any other Good Man would have had me—”
“Not a sane Good Man,” I said. “Grief and shock hit you too closely together. You weren’t in your right mind.” Which was true enough even if he did have one, which, of course, I couldn’t know. “But for the record, I didn’t maneuver or intend to spend a year in a prison for violent criminals, and fourteen in solitary confinement in Never-Never.”
“Solitary?” he asked, clearly surprised.
“Yes, and I didn’t do it just to escape the Sons of Liberty.”
“The Sons—” he sounded startled. “No. Is that who they say did it? Killed Max, I mean? Well, for once…” He trailed off. “No. I know you didn’t—” he stopped. “Fourteen years? And you’re still sane?”
“Functional,” I said.
He blinked at me, then looked me up and down. “You’re naked.”
“Astonishing powers of observation,” I said. “No wonder you’re a lawyer.”
He shook his head. “You should dress. And I should…I meant to ask you about Goldie.”
“Goldie?”
He gestured towards the drawing on the wall, the one I’d admired before. “That,” he said, “is Max and Goldie. Goldilocks. Goldie for short.”
I looked at the portrait. I looked at the dog beside the person, whom I had to assume now was Max.
“Max’s dog?”
Nathaniel gave a sort of exasperated little huff, “No, I— Oh, never mind. I thought…Yes, Max’s dog. I…I’d like to keep him, but…” He floundered.
I turned towards the bed and said, “Am I really expected to wear that? Has the style changed that much in fifteen years?”
He looked towards the bed, too, and made a sound. Then shrugged. “Your father’s tastes ran to rather more gaudy than…than fashion,” he said. “And I’d guess they haven’t had the time to get your clothes from storage or…” He paused, looked stricken. “They might no longer exist.”
I opened my mouth to ask him why my father’s clothes would be in this room at all, and if my father’s clothes wouldn’t have been disposed of, as well, since Max had succeeded a year ago, but I couldn’t because he’d walked past me to the closet and thrown it open. “There should be something. They’re never that thorough,” he said. Then he shut the door with a bang and started, with strange enthusiasm, opening drawers under the closet. “Ah,” he said, in a tone of satisfaction. “This drawer is all Max’s.” He brought out a, dark, soft-looking suit, and threw it at me.
As I caught the pants midair, the tunic fell on the floor. I grabbed it, one-handed, and tossed it on the bed. The type of fabric was non-wrinkling. I started pulling the pants on and felt disapproval from somewhere in Nathaniel’s direction. I looked up and at him, and he held, in his hands, just taken from the drawer, a pair of underwear. Oh.
I pulled the pants off, and extended my hand for the underpants. “I’d forgotten about the niceties,” I said. “It’s been fourteen years with only one suit, nothing else to my name. I suppose I should wear socks and shoes as well.”
It didn’t get a smile from him, just a tight nod, and when I looked up from pulling on the pants that felt like a second skin, he handed me socks and a pair of dark slipper-shoes, the kind one wore when one wasn’t going to do much walking over rough ground.
I was about to ask him how and why he seemed to know where everything was in this room, but I never did, because he glared at me as if I’d done something wrong, “You’ll have to have suits made. That is much too tight. You’re bigger than Max.” And then, “Perhaps they still have your clothes in the attics or something. Sometimes I think nothing gets thrown away in this place.”
The chuckle at the idea came out despite my best intentions. “My clothes? From before I was arrested? They’d fit worse than this. I was twenty-two and skinny.”
“Twenty-two.” The though seemed to stop him and he looked at me, as though to make sure I wasn’t lying, then shrugged. “Sorry. No one ever told us that. As far as I remember, you were, well…old.”
I didn’t remember him at all, though now that I made an effort I conjured up the image of a small, pale shadow trailing Max, an older boy who mostly watched from the sidelines and rarely spoke. “I would seem so to a six- or seven-year-old,” I said, drily. “At any rate, if you wanted to tell me you wanted to keep Max’s dog, fine.”
“My father says he’s technically yours if you want him,” Nathaniel said, with far more emotion than seemed to be warranted. “He says you like dogs.”
“I like dogs,” I said. “And cats. And hamsters. And I once was very fond of a tarantula spider. But I don’t like fish except on the plate.” I looked up to meet with total confusion in the dark eyes. “Right. But, just because I like dogs, it doesn’t mean I need Max’s. If he’s used to you now, that’s fine. Is he used to you?”
Nathaniel shrugged. “You can always get another dog,” he said. “I’d hate to disrupt Goldie’s life again.”
“I can always get another dog,” I agreed. I hadn’t had a dog since the scene when my father had got rid of my dog when I was ten. “Was that all you wished to tell me, Nathaniel Remy?”
“No,” he said. He looked guilty. “The dog is not—never mind. I’m sorry, it seemed the most important thing. I…I have no idea what came over me.”
I patted his shoulder once. Once, because by the second time, he’d sprang away from me.
“Grief acts in strange ways,” I said. And I hoped I was telling the truth and that his behavior was the result of grief, because I wasn’t prepared to tell Sam Remy that his son was completely insane and would need serious treatment, or perhaps to be confined in a nice cell where he couldn’t hurt himself.
Nathaniel looked up at me a while longer than made sense, frowned, nodded. He ran a hand across his forehead. He was wearing a heavy silver ring, which probably explained the cut on my lip. “Yes,” he said. “Yes, I suppose it would. But…my father sent me in to discuss with you the legal strategy for presenting your claim to the Council.”
“Your father doesn’t think that anyone can dispute my right to rule.”
Nathaniel shrugged. “My father doesn’t think anyone can dispute it successfully. But my father hasn’t examined the law. He’s simply speaking from custom and logic. You’re the last of the blood. By blood, Keevas own Olympus. There is no possible claim that outstrips yours. But there are some small issues we should sweep out of the way first.”
“Of course,” I said. “I’m sure my father disinherited me.”
He shook his head. “No. He simply superseded you with Max. You were the heir, after Max. No. What I mean is, though it is irrelevant now, because the Good Man can’t be guilty of any crime, you…have a conviction on your record, which some of your…peers might say is a capital conviction and you…”
“And I should have been executed,” I said, and watched, fascinated, as Nathaniel, while still talking to me, started patting himself down, as though he were trying to stop an invasive stream of ants that had climbed up his well-cut trousers.
“Oh, no. Well, maybe you would have been, if you were a commoner, but then commoners—” He reached into what appeared to be a hidden pocket behind his knee and extracted a square box of some sort. I watched carefully, in case it was a weapon, but he brought out a thin white cylinder and shook it. When the end glowed ember-red, I realized it was a cigarette. A few of my peers had smoked as an affectation.
He sucked on the unlit end as though that was the only way he could get oxygen and he’d spent the last three days without breathing, then expelled the smoke slowly. “Commoners can be executed because they looked at you wrong. Executing the…son of a Good Man was never going to happen.”
“Even if the crime was killing a Good Man’s heir?”
He gave me an odd lingering look, sucked on the cigarette again. “Not even then. He just had another heir.” He put his hand under the growing ash of the cigarette and looked around frantically. Then he opened my desk drawer, rummaged around, brought out a little porcelain box used for gems, dumped the gems into the drawer, and shook the ash into the box. “But that’s not the point. Your peers could still use it against you.”
I frowned at him. “Would they want to? Good Man Rainer is dead.” I hastened to add, “I didn’t kill him. I found him—”
“I know,” he said. “His son, Jan, kill— Oh, shit. Never mind. That is not for public consumption. But it’s not Good Man Rainer you’ve got to worry about. It’s…” He seemed to struggle with words, and I got the impression he was closing several avenues of explanation. I wonder how Nathaniel Remy had come by that’s not for public consumption information. “It’s anyone who could claim Olympus,” he finally settled on.
“So?” I said, watching fascinated, as he stabbed his tiny stub of cigarette into the porcelain box to put it out, then lit another one so fast I could barely follow the movement. “You know, those things will kill you,” I said. “I mean, they’ve removed most carcinogens from them, but they’re still not meant to be used in great quantities.”
“The— What? Oh, these. Nah, I’m not that lucky.” He sucked in smoke. “So, you need to pardon yourself.”
I blinked at him. “My crime prevents my becoming a Good Man, so I should pardon myself?”
He opened his mouth, then seemed to very carefully bite the tip of his tongue. He sighed. “Well, not…precisely. Your father needs to pardon you.”
“Uh…” How crazy was Nathaniel Remy? Was I going to have to break it to Sam? “I’m sorry, but I’m fresh out of resurrection powers. And wouldn’t resurrect him if I could.”
Something very like a half-laugh caught in Nat’s throat, causing him to cough puffs of smoke. He looked at me, really looked, as if evaluating me for the first time, as if he were trying to tell what sort of person I was. Then he looked as if trying to figure out what to tell me. “You know how the genlocks react to you,” he said. “I mean, how all the men in your line can—”
“Open the same genlocks, yes, which is why my father always had additional security in things he didn’t want me to see. And?”
“And, the judicial gen seals aren’t any finer.”
This didn’t sound right. “Are you sure? I mean, they’d have to be—”
He shook his head. “Trust me,” he said. “I’m a lawyer.”
That seemed like a very odd claim to my trust, but I supposed a lot of them were trustworthy, popular image notwithstanding. “We have papers,” he said, “From your father’s time, so, you know, it’s the right type of paper, and I’ve printed a letter of pardon. That ring,” he said, and pointed at the signet ring, “has a sign function. Do you know how to set it?”
I must have looked helpless, because he set down his cigarette, inside the porcelain box, which he put on the desk. Then he held out his hand for the signet. I took it off, and put it on his palm, thinking that for some strange reason, Nathaniel Remy reminded me a lot of my nanny. Or at least, both of them could command obedience with a gesture and a look.
He held up the ring, and twisted one of the bands around the gem carefully, till a sequence of green lights came on, then told me, “Now put it on,” as if I were about two years old. From inside his tunic somewhere, he pulled a sheet of paper that wasn’t even creased. I suspected the man’s clothes were sewn with multiple pockets, but did they also contain folders?
He set the paper on the desk, and told me where to press the ring, and how, so it left behind an imprint of my genetic code.
“Are you sure?” I asked. “They won’t be able to tell it’s mine and not my father’s?”
“Positive,” he said, as he made the paper disappear. Though he’d answered instantly, I had the impression of a hesitation. “I promise.” He looked me over. “And now I will be gone and leave you to…to…whatever it was you were doing.”
And like that, he slid out of the room and closed the door behind him as unobtrusively as his entrance had been explosive. And left me wondering what this creature was. If he was mad, he was the sanest madman I’d ever met. If he was sane…then he acted a lot like a madman. More importantly, what did he know that he wasn’t telling me? It was obvious he knew something. Was it something that could hurt me? Had Max let this sort of thing go unexamined? Was that why he’d got killed?
Maxims my father had given me, about making sure you knew your servants and what they were up to, flitted through my head. I sighed.
Nathaniel had left his cigarette in the box. I put it out, carefully, then closed the box on the ashes, and set it back on the desk. I had the odd feeling he’d need it again and look for it there.
But why would he? And friends with Max or not, why did he know the room so well and act like it was his room? Had they been— No. Too much of a coincidence. I was projecting my own history onto Max.
My head hurt. What I really needed was a ride on my broom and to talk to some old friends.