Chapter Two
“Mickey, you’re supposed to be resting,” Susan protested as Mickey picked up the box Susan had packed.
“I’ll go nuts. Do you want to have a crazy neighbor with a gun?” Mickey asked.
“Oh, yeah! Like that would be a big change. What I would like to have is one that’s still alive,” Susan said.
“Stitches came out yesterday,” Mickey said.
“What did the doctor say about the Captain America bandaid?” Susan asked.
“Well, I hate to disappoint you, but he said it was a good idea. He’s a Captain America fan, too.”
“I feel guilty packing Marty’s things away,” Susan said. “I don’t know, it’s like...” A tear fell from her eye, and her voice was choked. “Like I’m admitting that he’s never coming home.”
“I know; it sucks.”
“What would I do without your poetry in my life?” Susan asked with a laugh. She dried the tears from her eyes.
“You’re the writer, not me.” Mickey carried the box out to her car and put it in. Then she walked back in the house.
“You want to hear some shit?” Mickey asked.
“I live for it.”
“They took me off the Slasher case and sent me home for two more weeks. If you get tired of me you’ll have to run me off, because I’m dying from boredom.”
“To tell the truth, Mick, I’m glad you’re off that damn case. You were both so damn obsessive about it. As for running you off... Well, I’m kind of glad you’re going to be around. I don’t want to be alone right now.”
Mickey swallowed hard, and a little of her pride went down. “Have you heard from Chris?”
“Mick, that ship has sailed. You’ve got to let go of the past.” Susan smiled at her and added. “We both do.”
“Right now, all I have is past.” Mickey put Marty’s pants into a box. “I’m sorry, Susan.”
“What for?”
“I’m feeling sorry for myself, and I don’t have any right....”
“Well, I don’t know what good it will do you, but you certainly have the right. Face it, you saw Marty more than I did.”
“But there is a different bond between lovers....”
“Yeah, and Chris just left you, too. So I think you have the right to feel sorry for yourself. But eventually—soon—you’ve got to find another partner. I know you’d like to think you’re a lone wolf and all that shit, but I know you, Mickey, and you don’t do the alone thing well....” Susan took in a deep breath. “Mick, Chris is going to be here in a few minutes to help me, and if you can’t handle it....”
Mickey smiled. “Good. I think I could do with that tumble about now.”
“Mickey, I don’t think that would be good for either one of you,” Susan scolded.
“Susan.” Mickey looked at her. “I know that it’s probably not a good idea, but I still love Chris. I need her right now. She said she would sleep with me, and if sex is all I can get, it’s better than the nothing I have now.”
“Mickey, can’t you see? In the end you’ll only hurt more and for longer,” Susan said.
“You’re probably right.” She picked the box up. “I’m gonna go get cleaned up.”
Mickey looked into the glass and downed the whiskey. Then she stepped out of her house and walked the five steps to knock on Marty’s... Susan’s door. Susan opened it and gave Mickey a warning look.
“Give a girl a break,” Mickey said.
She saw Chris in the kitchen, and moved towards her. “Hey, baby.”
“I’m not your baby, Mickey,” Chris said coldly.
“You had dinner yet?”
“Yes.”
“Want to go to a movie?”
“No.”
“Come on, Chris, you’re not making this easy.”
“What do you want, Mick?” Chris asked.
“Ah, come on, you know what I want. But in lieu of that, I’d be willing to settle for a little mindless sex,” Mickey said.
“I’ve already heard too much,” Susan said, holding up her hands. “I’m going to go check on my son. If you two wind up on the floor, please make sure it’s not mine.” She walked out.
“Come on, let’s go over to our house. We can talk.” Mickey said.
“It’s your house, Mick and I’m not going to bed with you,” Chris said flatly.
“Then just come talk to me. I need you Chris. I miss you.” Mickey’s voice was rising. She didn’t want to scream, but she wasn’t good at begging. “We might still turn this thing around, Chris. If I’m willing to forgive you, you could at least try....”
“Leslie and I got married Tuesday....”
“Married! Damn it, Chris! The ink isn’t even dry on our divorce agreement yet... Besides, being married never stopped you from cheating on me.”
“I don’t need your permission to get married, and that last dig was uncalled for,” Chris said hotly.
“And I don’t need your shit!” Mickey took off her ring and threw it on the floor. “You know, Chris, I never realized till right now what a cold bitch you are. How could you do this to me now? How could you get married now?”
“What the hell have I done to you? Excuse me if I want to be happy....”
“Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! You cunt!” Mickey stomped out of the house, right out to her car, jumped in and roared off.
“I can’t believe you did that, Chris,” Susan said stomping back into the room. “Did you really marry Leslie, the incredible nothing woman?”
Chris nodded her head yes.
“Why? Why would you do that? And why would you do that now?”
“I love Leslie....”
“Oh, please, tell it to someone who doesn’t know you.”
“I was afraid if I didn’t marry Leslie I’d wind up back with Mickey....”
“And that would be so terrible? Mickey loves you with a passion I doubt Leslie is capable of.”
“Mickey is in love with her job....”
“Bull shit,” Susan said. “You’re just so selfish that you have to have all of her attention, all of the time. And when you don’t get it, you find someone else’s.”
“She’s never going to make anything of herself....”
“Not like Leslie, the accountant queen....”
“If you think Mickey’s so great why don’t you keep her!” Chris headed for the door.
“I just might do that!” Susan screamed after her, then flopped down in a chair.
“Oh, Marty, what the hell am I going to do?”
Bobby walked out of his room and crawled up in her lap. She hugged him.
“Aunt Chris married somebody else?”
“Yes.”
“Who does Mickey have now?”
Susan smiled at him. “She has us.”
“Good.” He got down and ran off to play.
The diner was all but empty. She sat down at the booth in the corner where she and Marty had always sat. Mona was on shift tonight, and Mickey was happy to see her—and it wasn’t just because she was a knock out. The little Amerasian woman was someone she saw almost every day when she was working. Someone she considered a friend. Someone who knew her and understood her relationship with Marty. It made her feel less alone. Mona brought her black coffee without taking her order, and sat down across from her.
“I was sorry to hear about Marty. He was a real good guy.”
Mickey nodded.
“How ya doin’?”
“I’ve been better, Mona. My ex-wife just told me she got married.”
“Bad timing,” Mona said making a face. “Your divorce is final, then?”
“Yeah.” Mickey sipped at her coffee. It was too hot to take a real swallow yet.
“Bad luck for her; good luck for me.” Mona winked at her and handed her a menu. “So, what can I get for you?”
Mickey laughed. “You’re good for my morale, Mona.”
“I could be good for other things, Mickey.” She flashed her a coy look, and winked again.
Mona had always flirted outrageously with her, so she didn’t think any more about it tonight than she normally did.
“I’m not really hungry, just bring me a bowl of soup.”
Mona looked hurt, but got up and went and got the soup. Then she sat down across from Mickey again.
“How’s Marty’s family?”
“It’s rough, but Susan’s made out of pretty stout stuff.”
“How are you, Mickey? Really.”
“Mad, depressed... lonely.”
“All bad things.” Mona clicked her tongue. “We’ve been friends a long time, haven’t we?”
“Very long,” Mickey said truthfully.
“But you don’t find me attractive....”
“Attractive... Mona, I find you to be to-die-for gorgeous.”
Mona smiled broadly. “Good! I get off in fifteen minutes.”
“You’re... you’re serious!”
“Like a heart attack, baby,” Mona said and got up. “Fifteen minutes. Don’t leave without me.”
Mickey didn’t know what to think. I shouldn’t do this. It’s just not right. Mona has a partner... Yeah, and she’s a drunken bitch who Mona has to support. Besides, I need her. I need someone. I like Mona, and I am definitely attracted.
Fifteen minutes later they were in Mickey’s car on the way back to her house.
“I really don’t want to ask this, but... what about your....”
“Jess is passed out drunk. Or so high she doesn’t know where she’s going or where she came from. I love Jess, Mick. I don’t want to give you the wrong idea. But she and I have an understanding. We don’t have much of a love life because she’s always fucked up. I need to make love with someone who is here mentally as well as physically. I’m attracted to you, Mickey. I like you a lot, and I know you like me. We can give something to each other—something that we both need right now. I don’t think we need more justification than that.”
The water splashed down on them from the shower head. Mickey took her into her arms, and Mona kissed the scar on her shoulder ever so gently. They looked into each other’s eyes only briefly, and then their lips met. They caressed each other’s flesh as the water ran over them. In a moment it wasn’t enough.
Mickey turned the water off.
Mona looked at her curiously.
“I’m not real good in showers,” Mickey said nervously. “I’m too tall.” She took Mona’s hand, and led her out of the shower. They towel dried each other slowly, and then Mickey led her to the bedroom.
“Place is kind of a mess.”
Mickey threw a pizza box and a pair of pants off the bed. Mona lay down, and Mickey lay down beside her.
“You can still say no.”
“This was my idea, remember?” Mona rolled onto her back and spread her legs. “Why don’t you show me what you do better out of the shower?”
“I’d love to.”
Ringing, ringing, fucking ringing. Mickey grabbed the phone off the bedside table.
“Hello, who the fuck is this?”
“This is your fucking Captain speaking. I thought you’d like to know that IAD just cleared your butt.”
“All right!” Mickey screamed. “So, I can come back to work?”
“You’re on medical leave for two more weeks, Derringer, and don’t forget you’ve got an appointment with the shrink today.”
“Oh, gee! How could I forget? Thanks for the call, Captain.” She dropped the receiver into place.
Mona started to get out of bed, and Mickey grabbed her and pulled her back onto the bed beside her. Mona wrapped herself around her, and Mickey started to caress her in a provocative way. But Mona smiled and grabbed her hand.
“I have to get home and get ready for work. I wish I didn’t have to.” She kissed Mickey gently on the lips. “You were wonderful. Just like I thought you would be.”
“Mona you are... amazing. I... I want to see you again.”
“Oh, Mickey.” She started to cry, and she put her arms around Mickey’s neck.
“What did I say?” Mickey asked.
“I can’t see you again, Mick. It’s going to be hard enough to go back to the shit....”
“Then don’t. Stay here. With me.”
“I can’t, Mick... I love her. I know she’s a piece of shit, but she wasn’t always like that, and maybe she’ll get better. You’ve been there, haven’t you, Mick?”
“Yeah.” She got up and started to get dressed. “I’ll take you back to the restaurant.”
“I can take a cab....”
“I’ll take you back to the restaurant.”
Mona hugged her once more, and then they dressed and left.
“So you had a one-night stand?” Dr. Parker asked.
“It wasn’t like that. She was lonely, I was lonely. We’ve known each other a long time. We went back to my house, and we had sex.” Mickey thought over what she had said and made a face. “Well, I guess it was kind of like a one night stand, but... I really like Mona.”
“And she’s married?”
“No, but she has a mate.”
“How do you feel about sleeping with another woman’s mate, since that’s basically what ruined your own marriage?”
“Apples and oranges, Doc,” Mickey said.
“How did it feel to be with someone again after such a long dry spell?’
“It felt good,” Mickey said truthfully.
“Did you feel like you were getting back at Chris?”
“Maybe a little.”
“Why?”
“Because she’s convinced that no one else would have me.”
“Is that the way you feel?”
“Mostly.” Mickey smiled. “I didn’t feel that way last night, though.”
“Do you feel cheap, used?”
Mickey smiled. “Curious, Doc?”
“Maybe a little,” Dr. Parker said with a smile. “So, do you?”
“Feel used? No way. Have you ever made love with a woman?”
“No.”
Mickey sat forward and got serious—for once. “I’m a lesbian because I love women. I love women, not men. Women are different than men. And before you ask—yes, and once was enough.”
“Do you hate men?”
“That seems to be a common misconception straights have about gays....”
“I’m asking you if you hate men.”
“No,” Mickey said plainly.
“What about the Slasher?”
“Who says the Slasher is male?”
“His psychological profile....”
“No offense, but I don’t agree with the profile at all. As far as I’m concerned, the sex of the offender has never been determined. Give me DNA evidence to prove it, or find sperm at the site, and I’ll sex the Slasher. Until we have that, you’re as likely a suspect as the next guy.”
“Why are you so obsessed with the Slasher case?”
“It’s in your funky little file. You know why!” Mickey was suddenly spitting mad.
“I hit a nerve?”
“What do you think?”
“I think I want to hear you tell me what happened.”
She didn’t talk about it. She never talked about it. She looked down at her scarred hands, at the missing pinky, and grimaced. Marty had known, and Chris knew, and she supposed they had told other people. But Mickey didn’t talk about it. She unconsciously rubbed at her wrists.
“Take your time,” Dr. Parker said.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Mickey all but hissed.
“I think you have to.” Dr. Parker looked for the buzzer. There was a chance the patient might become violent, and she wasn’t going to take any chances.
“My parents hated me,” Mickey said plainly.
“Why do you say that?”
“Because it’s true. They knew I was queer, and they wanted me dead.”
“Mickey, you were kidnapped. You can’t blame your parents for that.”
“If I had been Robert or Melissa, they would have paid the ransom, and that would have been that. They didn’t want me back. They wanted them to kill me.”
“Mickey, they did pay the ransom.”
“After they did this!” Mickey held up her hand, minus a finger.
“With a straight razor?”
“It says so in there.” Mickey hissed back, waving at the file in front of Doctor Parker.
“Like the Slashings?”
“Do you have any idea what it’s like to watch someone cut off a piece of your body? To look at the bloody razor and wonder what’s next? So I’m a little psycho when it comes to these Slasher killings. I don’t think that’s any reason to take me off the case.”
“And they never caught the men responsible for your abduction?”
“That’s right,” Mickey said plainly.
“Your father offered a great deal of money for their capture. Don’t you think it’s odd that they were never found?”
“If you’re asking me if my father had them killed, I can truthfully say that I don’t know. If he did, he never told me.”
“Do you think that they’re dead?”
“No.”
“Is that why you are so obsessed with the Slasher?”
“I know what it’s like to be on the other side of the razor. No one should have to go through that. This thing has to be stopped, and I need back on this case.”
Dr. Parker sighed. “I think we’ve made quite a bit of progress today, but there is one thing more I’d like to talk with you about. You have just been cleared by the IAD, and I’m sure that you only did what you had to do. But with the addition of these three men, you have killed eight people in your ten year career. That’s more than anyone else on this force. More than most career cops anywhere. How do you feel about that?”
“How will you feel if you’re able to fix my head?”
“You’ll have to ‘fix’ your own head, but if I can help you do that, I will feel good. Like I’ve done my job.”
“Bingo.”