Darlin’, please come and sit down beside me
You know how long we’ve been together
Lately I’ve been thinking about what I really want
And it’s something that would last us forever
Everywhere I turn, I see women with strollers
They’ve got tiny bundles from heaven galore
Their lives are now complete with the patter of little feet
It’s an issue I can no longer ignore
Oh, darlin’ please, would you do one thing for me
For I’m tired of always thinking about fertility
It’s the ultimate gesture of complete gallantry
Darlin’ please get that vasectomy
Every morning I can hear little kids screaming
In the restaurant, always one who kicks my chair
Sometimes a little angel nearly knocks down my mic
After sticking wads of bubblegum in my hair
Well, I know you’re protective of your Big Jim and the Twins
But it takes a real man to wear such a scar
Your sperm count would be zero, but you’d always be my hero
And you’d have something to show your friends at the bar
Oh, darlin’ please, would you do one thing for me
For I’m tired of always thinking about fertility
It’s the ultimate gesture of complete gallantry
Darlin’ please get that vasectomy
Darlin’ please get that vasectomy ...